I guess in a way, the real consequence of never finding your better half is the lack of having anything to really fight for. Call it pussy behaviour but It's difficult to do things to better yourself when there isn't an external source of validation, at least that's a feeling I've been having lately. No god, no nation, no future. It's the idea of an accountability partner I suppose. I know these feelings are mostly just flights of fancy and fade away into nothingness sooner rather than later, my mother made sure to drum that into me that every day for two decades. But a man can dream, can't he? Maybe for all the demoralisation I've been raised under, there's still a naive part of me that believes that I could have been a better person if I just had someone on the outside that I wanted to prove myself to. To be better for. To be proud of me. Perhaps.