it’s been a little bit over a week and i’m genuinely losing my mind. waking up everyday with extreme anxiety and heart palpitations, feeling anxious all day till night, putting and focusing all my energy into not having a full blown panic attack. i miss you so much, i wish we could talk it out, i wish we could fix it, but you’re over me and my instability. i’m sorry for hurting you and being an emotional burden. you left without me being able to even say goodbye. i wish i could say goodbye. but what i wish the most is if you could wait. if you could wait until i get the help i need and fix my patterns. and then we could start again, with me being better, with me being fit for you. and i could do right by you and for you. i wish you wanted me enough to consider it and not give up just yet. because i don’t want to give up on you and i want to save this. i want this to be a forever. i’m sorry i’m a coward and i’m sorry my head is fucked. i will get help. and even if you don’t want to do anything with me right now, i hope after some time, after i worked through things that are wrong with me, i can reach out to you again. and i hope you might be open to it. to try again and let it flourish the right way. because what we had was real, you said that. i hope you’re okay. i love you so much.
(i changed the picture to the one i sent you in hopes that you might come across this and recognise it, but i highly doubt you come here anymore, but still..)