>>41029420
Is there any value in people like me? Am I gaining anything karmically by being like this? Or is the whole meekness thing just a cope I've been telling myself to swallow the pain?
Girls call me fag just cause of how weak/small I am. Despite this I never do anything back cause frankly the juice just isn't worth the squeeze. I know this by now. It makes me despise women but I'll never not help one or something if it came too it.
And please no jesus loves me business. This is not about evangelization , this is about those who've seen what the universe is about on a deeper level - hit me with the cold water.
I feel like the line "a hero dies once , a coward dies 1000x times" or something but then I think if I actually a materially success , would I have ever pursued the /x/ path ? So a part of me wants to think , I should just forgo society and just become the wizard
Or is that also a lie I tell myself cause to be a wizard , you need to be adept at the material world as well? It seems like every spiritual hero of old in the past was a "chad" for lack of a better word. None of them seemed to start on first base but rather always on third.
