I want to draw but i feel overwhelmed so i draw my stupid ass autistic fixation like always(character from a niche ARG 10-11years ago) but then I feel bad for doing so and i feel worthless and dsyphoric, so i dont finish it. Then i feel bad for not finishing and feel bad for feeling bad. Then I feel bad for feeling bad about feeling bad.
So I try to reach out to make friends only to realize its been 24 years and I still havent figured out how to talk to people without being a therapist /"mysterious" bc Im an autistic retard. And i cant post art online in order to make friends that way because i feel worthless.

Why shouldnt I kill myself