>>213993947
Having good parents who boost your self esteem helps. But I had all that and still always felt something was missing. I had the perfect childhood. My parents are still married. I just wanted to be wild and try all the drugs. They made me feel good, better than normal, better than reality.
Normal is a state of mind. I was always normal but I didn't feel like it. I felt better when punishing myself with booze or escaping with drugs. Something's just off with addicts. But we have a lot of grit. We can build up big lives and then destroy them and then rebuild them again. We're not for just sitting around the sidelines. I get restless and bored. There are so many possibilities in life. If you're already like that drugs just make it times ten and you want to do everything. And people want to be around excited people. Eventually they figure out a lot of it is the drugs and then they don't want to be around you so much, lol. But then they want to help when you ask for it, which is nice. Damn I miss drugs sometimes. That's why I like drug memoirs of musicians and comedians and such. The wild tales help keep me from getting into trouble again myself.