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I thought and thought. Teetering on the edge nihilism thinking there is no meaning to this life so it was better off not to exist. Then wisdom spoke in the silence making it clear. From source of creation which gave the seed of life sprouted pure conciousness, from there sprouted intellect, then thought, the logos, then wisdom, etc. I pondered on standing meditating on the depth and profoundnuity that precedes the things before all of us. Like a hand reaching to help it touched my conciousness breaking it down to a frequency which I could witness it as a whole. I was not alone several others were with us. I was existence and existence was me, in there was a love an understanding. I exist because of I. You can at the very least live for yourself. Bythos that first and high emination which proceeds from the uneffible, unutterable, source from which all things spawned is you. We made ourselves and come from on high. Its all you. You exist for yourself. To go beyond this depth before other eminations of intellect/ mind/thinker. You cease to be you. One stops becomming and God starts becomming. My time was brief I just felt as though I had found my answer to purpose of existence in existence itself a pure higher conciousness which we all share. An innate reasoning through only experience not mind could shed light on. Its all for you. How? Through God. Why? You are existence. Dare I say gods. Children of the Most High. Then deep real and tangible metaphysics that out of rational and natural reactions formed creating more emination spiraling down to this reality we live in here. The universe and its laws.