hey, I borrowed your anal beads while you were gone, I left them back on your pillow, they could probably use a wipe down now

Come on Barbie, let's go party

I'm never gonna dance again

I can't decide which pair of jorts to wear to my job interview

hey what's a good excuse? I've said I'd do something but now I can't be bothered and I'm trying to think of a plausible excuse to get out of doing it.

just think, if sound travelled at the speed of light then you'd be able to hear things that had already happened in the future, really makes you think doesn't it

I odn't get why there's so many different cheese, there should just be like one type of cheese and it comes in a pack marked CHEESE and there's just cheese in the pack and it's normal cheese and not stupid like gay cheese you massive gay queer

I put at least half a pound of mayonnaise on everything I eat, that's how fucking stupid and gay you are u gay cunt