>>40893991
Sadly I don't have much personal experience with this stuff, I can ask around if it helps though. I know >>>/fa/ has a skincare general but I can't vouch for it unfortunately.
>>40893960
>>40892463
Used these posts to refill my water bottle and brush my teeth for the night.
>>40895404
>the standard for attractiveness is being 5% body fat and having a perfect swimmer body with abs
There are people like that, but I can assure you a lot of people aren't like this. Otherwise the vast majority of people, myself included, would be single. I mean, I am an extreme case, perhaps. I was 123kg when I started dieting and went down to 83-85, and found love before I lost that weight. Of course I will always have a bit of belly as a consequence of having been overweight for a decade, but in spite of that people seem to find me attractive. It's a lot less about your body and a lot more about being exposed to the right people. Which ties into the luck aspect you talked about. A shit hand, as you put it.
For you specifically I think the meaning might come from community and belonging. Your outlook on your weight might also change a great deal when you meet more people that can appreciate you. Do you have a chance to visit the city more regularly, make friends over there?
>realistically i wont be able to move for another 18 months
That's miserable, but at least it is finite. I am sorry to hear that you ended up in a position like that.
>if i paid 40k for a degree
I see what you mean, in the US where there is such an absurd cost tied to education (beyond the time investment) I can see how this is not appealing in the slightest.
>>40895669
Seasonal depression, from my very limited understanding of it, doesn't really have a reason other than brain chemistry. It can be something as simple as vit D deficiency. It's worth looking into that and perhaps other common brainchem tweaks that are commonly listed online to see if anything gives you relief.