A Lament for the Grimdark 10th Edition

In the grim darkness of the far future there’s only war
plus bickering over datasheets and what this keyword’s for.
The rulebook is slimmer - delightfully neat
but the points evaporate right under my feet.
A dataslate here, an errata there
I swear my codex is 90 percent air.
My army once thundered, all killer, no filler
till “balance” transformed it to limp store-brand vanilla.
The missions feel “streamlined” (their favorite word)
like a worm that’s been streamlined into a blur.
Detachments leap round like a tripleshot flea;
each Monday brings one that disagrees with me.
Stratagems slimmed to a svelte etiquette
now I re-roll only when Venus is set.
And just when I’ve edge-highlighted my newest elite,
Games Workshop tweets, “Here’s your model - obsolete!”
So here’s to you, tenth, with a slow-clap sneer:
I can still lose a game in under a year.
My wallet’s on life-support, my shelf overfloweth;
I need a new house just for models I loathe.
Yet tomorrow I’ll preorder (with trembling thumb),
because hope springs eternal but plastic is numb.
So raise your paint water to Grimdark and gout,
ten editions in, yet still no way out.