>>18663415
>Well you see I had just sat down with a large bottle of lotion and a new box of tissues to get lost in a hatefic I was reading concerning a certain Shitstain being mauled by a pack of wild dogs while drenched in honey barbecue sauce when my phone decided it was time to self-immolate with messages like it was protesting the Vietnam War. So having my mood decidedly ruined I begrudgingly went to see just what the fuck was so god damn important. My original thinking was something must have gone wrong with Adderall Kahn's playtime adventure across the pond this weekend, maybe Kenny Olivier and the Cucamonga Kidz had stolen his lunch money and crammed his ass into a locker again.
>But no! OH HELL NO! I proceed to spend the next two hours watching some fucking loser commit attempted murder in the middle of a ring in front of a live audience of witnesses on repeat while the ref and everyone else associated with this fucking outlaw mudshow just stands by with their collective dicks in their hands watching it happen. I mean holy shit I don't know the guy responsible but apparently one of these degenerate freaks who brought him in certainly did, knowing full well he was a trained fighter with a chip on his shoulder, and allowed him to get a beer can cracked over his skull (my understanding was the guy was already concussed only a few days prior). THEN this dipshit promoter comes over and decides well hell wouldn't this would make a great angle for the show? As if a single warm body in attendance is gonna know who in the hell this motherfucker is or what their beef would have been since it all took place outside.
>Afterward this asshole sits around stewing in his own rage for over an hour while listening a chatroom of fucking 12-year olds goad him into a felony ON FUCKING CAMERA right before he ambushes the guy and starts windmilling these piss-ugly swings like a damn orangutan all while the SOB is choking on his own teeth. JESUS CHRIST I NEED A SPRITE. *psss-st*