>>42472016
>Some words and idioms
Yeah, Thorax saying "thin ice", knowing what a party is, "the world’s a big place", etc — not impossible, but not what I would expect from an insect twink in a desert. A lot of "Oh... uh, ah! huh... UGH! Ew", lip licking, and ear movements, too.
>reading it wasn't a chore.
Agree.
>this Thorax feels a little self-insert'y as well
This is worrying, I noticed it too.
>all her friends and Spike
Kek, he didn't even get a say in the opening against Twilight's choice.

>>42472168
Come on, out of all the double entendres and absurdities, that's the one you pick?

>>42472230
>Twilight that she is more kino than the average pony
The opening and the worms were pretty good.
>send the letter back
Don't think about it! There's so much busted shit that this opens up. Griffon the Brush Off shows Spike can send whole ink wells, and the fic itself confirms it with "We mostly use it to send letters and, sometimes, small objects."

>>42472255
>mere steps away from the form-as-you-walk bridge
Top fucking kek, that had to be on purpose.
>holding Twilight hostage
There are also some parallels between this and A Dog and Pony Show; the message is almost the opposite.