>Hospitals are free if you're a legit aussie cunt
>Highest paid medical specialists in the world by far
>The specialists all have Munchausen-by-proxy syndrome
>Oh you're mildly ill! How awful.
>>Acutally I'm not too bad right now, I'm fine to just---
>OK, well let me leave you here for a few minutes while I jerk off in the other room really quick
>Thanks for waiting. Oh your illness must make you sooo uncomfortable!
>Here, what I recommend is that I want you to take one of these pills I'm prescribing at the first sign of any discomfort.
>>Wait aren't you gonna, like, cure me?
>Nah. Let's just keep an eye on you and book you in for another appointment exactly like this one in a few weeks.
>Oh what's that, the painkillers I gave you 3 weeks ago made you permanantly mentally spastic? Awwww.
>Actually hang on let me jerk off again really quick
>OK, the situation is because your brain is fucked up now, I'm going to recommend the following:
>Basically just carry a pencil and notepad everywhere from now on to remember stuff. Better, right? Also here's another drug for your new disability
>>Will it actually help tho?
>Sure! Yes of course. It may help. It's not absolutely certain to not help you.
>Oh it didn't help and now you're also also unable to see clearly? Awww. Let me jerk off here in the room with you while I order some tests to see how many other ways you're fucked up now. Also why don't you see an optometrist for that.
>Hmm you're don't doing so good. [compassionate smile]
>Maybe we should put you in a bed here at the hospital and give you something to make you all drowsy. You'll be safer here than at home.