i thought i was an androphile because of my obsession with the male form, but males have never appealed to me sexually or romantically like women have. i was just too fixated on the male form as an aesthetic ideal to notice this. but the truth is i hate males and i would never want to be close to one. i don't want to touch men, be touched by men, have any sort of relationship with men. the only exception in which i'd ever want to touch a man is by killing him. i have obscenely detailed fantasies of luring a man somewhere, killing him, and hiding his body with the cold precision of a robot, because that's how much i hate men. i hate them because they're allowed to be men and i'm not and that's the greatest injustice of all.