Maybe im going mad but I get really itsy and overwhelmed whenever I open this board. I feel it as im typing this right now my eyes are starting to hurt and my body feels heavier.
I did the exact ritual from this general about 2 years ago, at first I didn't even try it until I felt a lot of weight on me and moderate discomfort at night. During the first weeks I started feeling itsy and I could hear something knocking the walls and doors of my room. I felt my skin getting itchy and touched and I remember feeling somethinf in my left cheek that immediatly made me extremely sleepy.
But she just suddenly dissapeared for no reason whatsoever after less than a month. Well maybe dissapearing is not the right word. Ever since that encounter and me getting full blown obsessed eith her everywhere I went for 3 weeks I have become way more sexually degenerate and started dabbling in things I never liked before, specially when it comes to seeing girls get hurt or abused. I also grew into a way more charismatic person around woman in general and have fucked way more than I used to before (basically nothing my whole life and suddenly 12+ and counting after the first meeting with the succ)
I can't tell if she is still here or if she was a succ to begin with. Sometimes late at night I will think about her and feel my hand being guided towards random points in my point, it's also some of my most absolutely erotic and grandiose ejaculations I can muster. But she only comes at random. I have never seen her in a dream, talked to her, or felt anything beyond kinda ghostly and ethereal touches. It's genuinely so weird that I have never even heard her voice. At most I keep hearing or thinking about things in my head but I can't tell if that's me going insane or her, it feels like im thinking what she would say.
HOW DO I GET HER BACK IN MY LIFE I JUST WANT TO SAY THANKS AND KISS HER, SHE JUST HOPS IN AND OUT AT RANDOM