>>40805929
Im working through my own feelings, really. I can accept my partner growing and changing, but I cant in good conscience feel like I was the cause if a negative change made purely to keep me from leaving. Its feels like self-harming to keep your partner around.
We've had a lot of honest talks but have been having less and less. He goes on the offensive and rips me apart if I bring up problems in the relationship. If I persist or suggest something might be broken, he threatens suicide. It worries me deeply and Im at this point scared to come into conflict with him over anything. I suggested couples therapy a couple of months ago and he ripped me to shreds for daring to suggest getting therapy "for me"... that was kind of the final straw on my path to this decision - the realization that even when faced with one of the most upfront signs "this is broken", he chose to attack rather than to work with me to fix.
My biggest driving force really is that I dont want our kids to model their relationships after this. A cold loveless touchless home where the people who should love each other the most cant fix problems...
Theres a very serious talk on the horizon... it'll be made with his Mom there (so he cant hurt himself) and a friend of mine there (so I dont chicken out), then thats the end. He'll be walking out with a blank slate at least to live his life as he sees fit.
Im scared... Im scared as hell... but every conflict feels like it will end me and drives me deep into ideation myself. Im deeply unwell and therapy and friends and love for my children are the only things keeping my head above water.
Hey, before I forget, thanks for listening to me.
>>40805975
Nada, Im not lago. I dont know much about her, still getting my bearings.
>>40806007
Im trans.
>>40806227
Im just chatty and try not to stir bad vibes. ^^'
>>40806703
>boomerhon
Ouf, Im not THAT old ;3;
