The death of Cobes triggered my existential OCD.
it's been since yesterday I feel super anxious, every time I stand up my legs get all shaky, every time I close my eyes I feel gazed by the soul, I feel weak, impermanent.
The first time it had happened was when my now passed dog was diagnosed with an untreatable tumor, back then it felt much more emotive, an immature feeling yet.
Now every time I look at my cats I feel like I'm trapped in this crystaline prison I cannot escape, I can no longer interact with them in a genuine way, I feel sorry for everything when I get out from my introspection. Why is it like this, he was so weak and lone, he didnt deserve it. Why do we have to endure the proof of the Soul