I'm pretty miserable in life and I'm not sure what to do. I'll try to summarize because life long problems won't give short explanations.
>whole life never believed in love but always remained loyal and committed
>married for 17 years, wife died after hospital killed her with a misdiagnosis, can't do anything about it because they blamed it on covid
>Since I was young, family has been a toxic mess and I had to remove all of them from my life.>Early on, parents convinced me to pursue a very shitty construction direction instead of my dreams of engineering and robotics. I'm now talentless and physically broken. I can't step out of a "construction" middle class job and a recent injury has proved that I can't keep doing this. I don't know what else to do now since I don't qualify for anything anymore.
>friends also toxic. Wouldn't say I'm naive but I give people chances to prove trust is earned and so far only two people remain in my life, but live across the country so can't even hangout.
>All this led to being lonely even with wife because I never really felt "love" existed the way I was told it should. For 17 years, I felt underchallenged,underappreciated, overwhelmed, and abandoned. Especially when I had to abandon my dreams to support my jobless wife and our child.
