>>82291659
The reason I am so hateful is precisely because of the amounts of love I have to give with no one to give them to, or receive them from. This is the aftermath a crushed idealist in a world where relationships are treated as transactional from a primal standpoint, and because you need to become a finished project as a man to be loved, but you are not loved from the bottom unless you have the right genetics or psychological disposition.

Bad enough genetics and early trauma lead to resentment, and this resentment makes me repulsive, but I cannot stop being repulsive without something cutting the loop of resentment that gets to be proven right every day.