>>42507551
Not sure what to tell you, Ponkfren, but I can tell you that its time to consider trying to be with her through other means, if not in this physical reality.

For me, daydreaming+meditation, writing stories of her, doing her hobbies, I.E Baking, Party planning, gifts has helped me get closer to her. I've tried Lucid Dreaming, but its rather difficult and I have little success at the moment, but I have many decades to prefect it. I know you probably have heard of this stuff already, but if you haven't, please try to do one of these for her.

Life is pain, that is why we do this Anon. We are in rebellion of the life we have been given, and we are here to take back our hapiness in anyway we can. Give yourself a chance, Anon. Give her a chance to touch your heart, as she has with mine.