>>96276237
It wouldn't be bad if it wasn't trying so hard to be a self-aware parody every other sentence.
>>96276243
It's what people call "Millenial writing" despite Colville being a Gen Xer. The characters talk like they're aware of all the cliches and tropes and are trying to subvert them by being silly about it.
A devil going "lie down. Well you are lying down. Try some breathing exercises or have a cup of tea" when a mortal is dying is nonsensical unless this is a Naked Gun comedy. It implies inexperience, stupidity or unfamiliarity with human nature, none of which fit a devil. They supposedly live a long time in a Hell city where you're at the threat of betrayal every second, where dealing with humans in the mortal realm is common.
I hate to phrase it like this, but it feels like someone's short story submission on a subreddit. The author was afraid the readers would tear into it for not being good enough, so he made it a wacky comedy. Now you can't criticise it for being shit because it's meant to be goofy.