Im just going to blogpost. So I'm moving from the deep south to California soon. I have this fantasy that once I get to rainbow sparkle Libland that all my cowardice in regards to being trans will just melt away and I'll be able to live happily as a ftm. My ideal situation is i find a cute autist mtf and we live happyly ever after. But I'm also honestly scared to death that ill become deluded surrounded by poons and enbys and take it way too far. My worst fear is that I'll just stay an ugly fat girl surrounded by queers having their fun. I know being American is privelaged compared to being trans anywhere else but I think there is still a lot of long lasting fear and paranoia growing up in God hates fags land. I dont know how I'm gonna shake that off without falling in. I'm gonna have 2 ftm roommates btw. Blogpost over. Thanks for listening