>>4466504
Sorry it took so long.

>Page 1
Panel 1: I'd feel better about that Miorine-saaaaaan with some end punctuation. A ~ might be nice, like in 4.
2: Comma between matter and Suletta.
3: Question mark rather than period.
5: Comma after Miorine-san.
7: I think it'd sound better if Miorine said big or large hands without the comparative.

>Page 2
2: Divide the word Su-let-ta. Comma after goodnight.
5: Comma after Miorine-san.

Basically, whenever a character addresses another with a name or title, you should separate it from the rest of the sentence with commas. This is called the vocative comma. You can google it for a better explanation.

Otherwise, good job, and thanks for preserving these translations!