Search - 4rchive

>>544606951
I'll just list out all the stuff I ran into while reading:
It's a little hard to tell who's speaking sometimes. Usually I get around this by putting actions between the dialogue (reactions, expressions, actions, thoughts, etc.) and/or specifying who's speaking through like "Dess mumbled out," "Anon hesitantly said," and etc.
If you've got two people of the same gender talking to each other or whatever, it's a good idea to "overuse" names. Getting lost when reading stuff like "She gave her" or "she looked at her and she" is VERY easy. "Dess was Anon's friend, but also Anon's girlfriend-wife, and also someone Anon offered to eat out while Dess" works a little better than the original sentence.
This might be a personal preference thing, but I avoid re-using the same word at the start of sentences or the next "paragraph" as much as possible. I'll sometimes avoid re-using the same words close together. This does lead to my own weird issues with writing, but it also forces me to look for new words and think sentences out differently.
Em-dashes are good. It sucks that AI kind of ruined it a bit, but they're good for "side tangent" and other actions like it in writing. Basically, anytime you'd use ( ), you can use an em-dash pair, like: "1225—everyone always thought that was lame, but that’s because they don’t like her enough—was".
Italics and Bolding is GOOD. I feel like I overuse it a bit, but it's one of those perfect communicators that drives how a word [i]feels[/i]. I like experimenting with new stuff like colors and fonts as well, but that's annoyingly hard to translate over to AO3 or something, sadly.

Sorry this response took so long and is a massive block; I had to go over the specifics in my head. Here's one of my own things that I've written recently so you know I'm not just bullshitting: https://rentry.co/noelle-zombie-thing
Hope you actually see this, lol