GOD I need a gf that's covered in self harm scars they are the cutest and we could cut together that would be so romantic

Anyone been in abusive relationship before and on the receiving end as a man?
I find it endearing someone can care so much that they would beat me as well. Maybe I am retarded.

Abusive wife actually sounds good but I cannot even get that

I yearn for an abusive wife who will beat me up and set me straight