Today i talked to seven people
>i saw two of the guys i had played billiards with while dining in the cafeteria so i invited them to sit with me on table
>then the girl i played billiards with also saw us and joined in afterwards it was only me and her chatting cuz the other two guys left
>i went with her to the dorms computer center cuz we both had to do some homework and it was better than doing it on our dorms
>afterwards i went to play billiards with some other four guys which two of them where new people but the other two where guys i had already talked to
today i managed to jog two laps in the track field but i had mac and cheese for brunch with soda so i still need to get better eating

Hi foid here i am taking my gun with me into the woods and noticed that i have nothing in life
my family abused me (Not the bullshit kind of abuse but sexual abuse) my bf basically just keeps me around as a sextoy and i dont got anything beside a wagie job going on either (i already had to Fight to Not land in jail or ward)
Should i unironically Just kill myself?
>Muh just go and fuck chad

I want actual uncondtional Love but i missed Out in childhood and now u will never have it

today was the third day in college and i managed to talk to 10 people today
>first and second was my roomate and his pal we chated for like 10 seconds or so and they asked me if did any sports but i told them no
>second was the cashier at the hardware store who greeted me when i went in and the third was a man inside the store who asked if he could help me find anything
>fourth was the lady at the admin building in the college that helped me register to classes
>fifth was the cute cashie at burger king where i got two chicken wraps
>sixth was a lady that helped me get my student id card
>seventh was a dude that helped me log into the student portal in the computer center
>eighth and ninth were the cashiers at the cafeteria that elped me check my id worked propler to get in
>tenth was the girl at the dorm halls who told me it would prob take until tomorow for my id card to work to get into the dorms

the question of today is
whats up with internal monologues?
i know most ppl have them but i thought there were only internal not like for you to actually speak them like a character narrating their life