Listen up, /gif/. You can keep your “feet pics” and “tranny threads” The true apex of human erotic innovation? The female shaved armpit.

It’s not just hairlessness. No, this is centuries of grooming technology, cultural refinement, and ergonomic razor design culminating in one perfect hollow of smooth, unsullied skin. No blemishes. No stretchmarks. No stubble. The Egyptians knew it. The Victorians feared it. Gillette built an empire on it.

The curve? Flawless. The texture? Velvet dipped in moonlight. The scent? Like a shampoo commercial whispered directly into your brain if they're done right. You think the Mona Lisa is art? She’d have been a 10/10 if Da Vinci had painted her mid-stretch.

People call me crazy. But when you see that perfect, soft, ivory colored under-arm revealed by the lifting of a slender appendage- you tell me civilization hasn’t peaked.

We split the atom, we went to the moon, but my brothers… humanity truly soared the day someone said, “What if… no hair there?”

Shaved armpits are the peak of human fetishism and I will die on this hill. Women have to actually do a bit of hard work to make their armpits look appealing and this is the ultimate litmus test of a wife.