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Have to go visit my mom tomorrow to give her things for her birthday. Kind of don't want to go; the idea of going to that old house and seeing my parents makes me viscerally uncomfortable. I don't like this feeling. They both have cancer(s), so I know I should be more 'compassionate,' but I really just can't. I want to get in, give her what I bought, leave, and never see them again. Anyone else feel this way about their parents?
>>82804385
Honestly, not great. She and my stelp-father helped me out earlier this year when my old car died on the freeway AND I had an infected wisdom tooth a couple of months later and needed dental insurance information (I don't have my own insurance), but our relations have gotten cold over the last couple of months. It started when they revealed to me that they have cancer(s) and will likely have to start treatment soon, and she told me that
>having an actual doctor and insurance is important
to which I responded that I don't have those things and don't really care to, since I intend to leave this country for good at some point. They're talking about downsizing and leaving the house they've been in since 2003 (and I 'grew up' in from high school age), so I'll have to go get a crate of my old stuff later this month when I go take her a birthday card and pick up my mail. She's always been a Cold Mother, but I feel as though I've already 'lost' her.
Honestly, not great. She and my stelp-father helped me out earlier this year when my old car died on the freeway AND I had an infected wisdom tooth a couple of months later and needed dental insurance information (I don't have my own insurance), but our relations have gotten cold over the last couple of months. It started when they revealed to me that they have cancer(s) and will likely have to start treatment soon, and she told me that
>having an actual doctor and insurance is important
to which I responded that I don't have those things and don't really care to, since I intend to leave this country for good at some point. They're talking about downsizing and leaving the house they've been in since 2003 (and I 'grew up' in from high school age), so I'll have to go get a crate of my old stuff later this month when I go take her a birthday card and pick up my mail. She's always been a Cold Mother, but I feel as though I've already 'lost' her.
>>82463184
Basically "Cold Mother Syndrome."
>didn't teach me shit about actually being an adult because she figured the military would do that
>dismissive; wouldn't listen to ANYTHING I had to say about how things actually are/were on the charge that I'm "being too negative" and "talking crazy"
>compared myself and everything I did to my biological dad, who was a liar, manipulator, abuser, etc (but his family still loved and protected him while alienating me, the son he never bothered raising)
>ignored what I actually wanted to be in life because she just 'knew' the military would be better and did everything to get me into it, even manually enrolling me in the AFJROTC the nanosecond I entered high school
>didn't bother with my academics; only as long as I passed with a C-average and was able to enlist right after high school
>sent me to psych wards and psychiatrists any time she couldn't be bothered to talk to/with me like an actually concerned parent
>cared more about her own fulfillment than making sure I was equipped for 'real life'
>constantly spoke over and through me
>always sent me to my bio-dad's family each summer, where I'd be verbally abused by Bible-thumping faux-nationalists/patriots
And yet...I try no to hate her today. Even with her and my step-father waiting until I'm in my MID-FUCKING-THIRTIES to start talking to me about "you should be thinking about your future" and asking me about healthcare/insurance and such...which neither of them ever bothered to mention growing up.
Basically "Cold Mother Syndrome."
>didn't teach me shit about actually being an adult because she figured the military would do that
>dismissive; wouldn't listen to ANYTHING I had to say about how things actually are/were on the charge that I'm "being too negative" and "talking crazy"
>compared myself and everything I did to my biological dad, who was a liar, manipulator, abuser, etc (but his family still loved and protected him while alienating me, the son he never bothered raising)
>ignored what I actually wanted to be in life because she just 'knew' the military would be better and did everything to get me into it, even manually enrolling me in the AFJROTC the nanosecond I entered high school
>didn't bother with my academics; only as long as I passed with a C-average and was able to enlist right after high school
>sent me to psych wards and psychiatrists any time she couldn't be bothered to talk to/with me like an actually concerned parent
>cared more about her own fulfillment than making sure I was equipped for 'real life'
>constantly spoke over and through me
>always sent me to my bio-dad's family each summer, where I'd be verbally abused by Bible-thumping faux-nationalists/patriots
And yet...I try no to hate her today. Even with her and my step-father waiting until I'm in my MID-FUCKING-THIRTIES to start talking to me about "you should be thinking about your future" and asking me about healthcare/insurance and such...which neither of them ever bothered to mention growing up.