I feel tired.
The only time I don't feel tired is when I'm on the computer, away from the world, away from the voices of people, of their presence, their happiness and anything.
It reminds me of how fucked I am.
And even then I'm sucked back into it everyday.
I don't want to rot.
I don't want to be successful.
I just want a peaceful life.
Yet I act like I've given up on this years ago, not trying anymore.
Its like a cancer.
All my success feel like luck. Like if I didn't do anything.
Sometimes I daydream of someone walking up to me and robbing me and shooting me.
I feel like screaming into the walls and tearing them apart.
I don't even know when it all started, that's the problem.
Its like my brain can't come up with being normal.
All I am is a parasite, and people will find out, and when they do I will root myself out.