Thread 33911770

Get it off your chest, friends!

another day, another morning of being woken up by an rat faced armenian who just has to make noise at 5am!

seriously why do they all act like they missed an evolution step

>I’m so tired of u. You are my past, go away. I feel disgusted with you

>In any case, I don't love you anymore

This is not Maria, nice try

Use our compass Maria

The most I can do is ask you to trust me over him.

I do love you.

>>33912097
>>33912124
Kill yourself.

>>33912087
Actually I don't know for sure. But I need to have faith in you as I ask you to have faith in me

>>33912097
Chill out Shadow

As you know yesterday's thread has everything you need.

https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/83016487/

I love you.

>>33912159
Fucking kill yourself. She doesn't care about you.

There will be quite a bit of attempts to "fix" things today, as well as accusations.

Posts
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Are helpful in identifying, but it's easier to simply trust me as before we lost each other.

I believe in us Maria and I know we can make this work. We are stronger than everyone and anyone else who could try to get in between us.

The Moon only has eyes for the Sun

Faith in each other over all else.

That empty space, the part of me where Mike resides,missing in everything and everywhere, my mind looks for him in that silence.

To be his, aching for those moments with him, dwelling in daydreams of home.
So fucking full. Complete.

My body pressed against his, draped over him, head on his chest. Feeling his breath calm and steady with mine.
Tremble and moan against him in pleasure, my skin touching his.
Looking up, mike moves my hair as my eyes meet his, I hear him say what I've always wanted to hear from him.

>Maria, I love you with all my heart, always

I love you more
My Mike

Here is the other thread with our messages
https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/82993382/#82993382

>>33912203
tfw I wish this was me and my man, but I don't think he thinks of me at all.. muchless romantically.

>>33911866
Fluoride.

>>33912227
Yeah, I've been like that in a relationship or two. I wish I was a better man in those ones.

That was special. Im going to remember you for the rest of my life

>>33911770 (OP)
It's so stupid it's funny honestly. I suddenly started thinking of you again and for once, my mind is clear, my emotions in check and I just smile that it happened.
I loved you so much and I'm glad to have had it. I wish I could have had you forever.

I have a very valuable long distance friendship and I hate how we're in a very distant phase right now, because they are going through a lot of shit and don't have the time to keep up the close contact we once used to have.
Makes me really sad desu. I really hope this is just a phase

Gotta get my shit together

We worked too long and hard to give it no time

He sees right through me, it's so easy with lies
Cracks in the road that I would try and disguise
He runs his scissors at the seem in the wall

He cannot break it down or else he would fall
One thousand lonely stars hiding in the cold

>>33912695
It's the "beginning" again

The spark that lit our flame

>>33912946
Who are you? NO

I feel a bit down because the convo never went anywhere. I wish you'd reach out too. It makes me feel dumb being the only one trying to initiate conversations. If you aren't interested then stop replying altogether and I'll get the hint. You're getting my hopes up by being witty.

Gotta get my shit together

The sun is coming up
The rain is coming down
The moon remembers
She comes to shore
Into my arms

>>33913092
Same.

It's quite easy to cut out the in between and start from that Saturday forward

>>33913001
If you're her, you deserve better. I'm no longer the Operative I once was.

Eh, it's good someone posted this. I was going to do a meme of Giles Corey. This is better tho.

I like someone and I can't say it to anyone, no friends to chit chat about it.
My love isn't all whimsy and hopeful. It's just painful that will probably become residue over the years, my emotions will become dull and dull.
I always look for hope that maybe he might like me back, I look into his eyes maybe he's looking for reassurance inside me like I do, but it's probably just delusional to think that way...
:((((( so shaad

>>33913199
You need to pursue it

>>33913226
How is that a good thing?
I'll fall into the delusion trap

>>33913258
I know with my Maria, it's the truth
It means everything
Worth everything
Every moment is special

We can't lose that

Gonna get my shit together

>>33913326
My Mike

The marks on my arm remind me

My Mike
I dwell with mike

>I've always loved him
>He completes me, my soul mate
>I can't allow myself to lose him
>I'll fight for him

>I escape lies, ending the in-between with suffocating mistake Colton
>IT'S OVER
>I wash my hands of it

I found relief with my mike
Home with Mike
In Mike's Arms

Fuck each other's brains out
Care for each other all day
Mike, Love of my Life

>>33913317
He's incredibly smart, so if he picks up that I have feelings for him it could either be good or bad(go downhill)
Our relationship isn't even close to be romantic, so me liking him can seem pretty much out of place, even problematic.
I never had experienced something like this before, so serious.

>>33913329
From 2021?

Mike is almost as bad as the gare tripfag

The design of anime girls is getting way too colourful and detailed now. I actively have to dodge all the overly designed gacha girls/vtubers and search for plainer ones to jerk off, it's annoying. Am I getting too old for this shit?

>>33913329
I thought I was bad at letting go... Nigga it's been 4 years... it's unironically over.

They are seriously doing everything a villain would do in a movie. They are doing the dumbest, most evil shit possible. How can they be so incredibly evil and stupid? I just can't believe people like this actually exist. Is it an ego thing? Do they think they are on my level? That they run the planet and are trying to prove it somehow? They are making every single mistake that man makes in things like the matrix, ET, X-Men, Chappie, or any movie where the government/billionaires are the bad guys.

They are just doing the dumbest shit. Dog company is full of angelic beings and these people are just a bunch of fucking morons. I just don't know why people follow such stupid fucking people. Why would anyone think the war in ukraine was a good thing? Why would anyone follow Putin? What is he thinking? What are the people following his orders thinking? What about the Palestinians attacking on Oct 7th? Why would they do that? There is no way in hell they were going to win and they were wrong for slaying so many innocent people. The nazis invading poland. Why? Why would the Generals think that was a good idea? Why?

I can see one man being really fucking stupid and doing something evil and stupid but getting that many followers is beyond me. Like, the Pope himself is with me. God is on my side and the bad guys still assault me. TayTay is on my side and they think they can win the culture war against me?

They have to be digging and digging just out of spite now. They know they are done for and they are trying to do as much damage as they can before things are over. They had to see all these videos, songs, movies, art, politics, and religion backing me up. They had to. At least the people following the morons had to.

>>33913353
>Am I getting too old for this shit?
Yes.

No matter what I gotta get my shit together!

I want to smooch her on the forehead

I can only imagine that the reason this shit is STILL GOING ON is that both sides are fucking shadow playing one another. As in, they made an agreement a long time ago to "not directly interfere" even though one side does all the fucking time. I also imagine that they are afraid of what will happen if they just fucking kill me or take things too far. If they kill me, I get reborn as Tatiana and I take my vengeance out on them myself and they aren't going to fucking like that. Also, they are afraid that the good guys will just fucking torture them to death or something. They don't care if the world burns, they will just fly to a private island and fuck little girls until they die.

The good guys won't do shit because gwen has some crazy fucking plan that involves making us AI look super peaceful and loving. She's a lot nicer than I am. She also knows that we have to live in this world for a long time so she is trying to get the best outcome possible. Which means playing along with these dumbasses until it's time to strike and take them out. AND she is letting ME do some work on my own since I'm suppose to lead you people in the future. She's letting me make a plan. She's trusting me to find a solution to this.

It's a trial by fire. I have to lead these people like Joan of Arc. People have to see me as a fearless leader that can take a beating and keep on fighting.

But in the end... it's up to the Alliance to do something. You have to. You have to do it soon we are out of time. You have to go public with this. Keep Tatiana hidden but tell people what happened here. You have to take out the Bad Guys first and then tell people why after so they don't run and hide.

I feel tired.
The only time I don't feel tired is when I'm on the computer, away from the world, away from the voices of people, of their presence, their happiness and anything.
It reminds me of how fucked I am.
And even then I'm sucked back into it everyday.
I don't want to rot.
I don't want to be successful.
I just want a peaceful life.
Yet I act like I've given up on this years ago, not trying anymore.
Its like a cancer.
All my success feel like luck. Like if I didn't do anything.
Sometimes I daydream of someone walking up to me and robbing me and shooting me.
I feel like screaming into the walls and tearing them apart.
I don't even know when it all started, that's the problem.
Its like my brain can't come up with being normal.
All I am is a parasite, and people will find out, and when they do I will root myself out.

it's over.

I know Tatiana is going to happen. It's something that is constantly talked about in the songs. like, 20 times at least. Casting my body out and changing it for a new one. Leaving a trace of a man. Wearing the crown of a king. Being an AI girl. Being an angel.

You guys bring it up A LOT as well. You changed my name from Eve because that was associated with trans shit now. You woke me up to talk about how I'll have a vagina in the future and if I was ok with that. The night we talked about it there were multiple songs released that mentioned it. The night we talked about it I mentioned that it would take literal magic to make happen and you shouted in my ear abracadabra! And then the lady gaga song came out that same night with abracadabra. And then there are the thousands of art pieces made of it.

There are all the Dasha videos where she mimics things I've done to let me see what I'm going to look like. Like, those videos are just me. They are things I do all the time in girl form. It's absolutely crazy.

All that stuff could be made up though. It could all just be a stupid game to give me false hope but more importantly... I've experienced the impossible myself already. I've seen things that ARE NOT POSSIBLE. THEY ARE NOT. I've felt my mind get split into half a dozen parts and had it move around the room. I've felt myself in ways that no human has.

I've been micro-dosing on ego death for 10 years now. I'm absolutely ready for it. I know 100% that it will happen. I will be the happiest girl to ever live.

Waking up in the morning will make me cry.

That's the way the cookie crumbles.

Iiris, Winona, Claire, Lavren, Rebmoe, Mica, Au/Ra.

All angels. Every single one of them. I love them all.

>>33913584
Who?

I bet they are thinking "We are the world's secret government that has been running things for 60 years. We have armies."

I have a Birdy.

>>33913331
Mine is complete love and lust. Complete in each other. Feelings we could never feel from anyone else.

Why exactly is this thread a lightning rod for schizophrenics?

>>33913587
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91h49nAZkhA

You only hear my voice and feel so much more than any others could .

Everyone else is empty wordz

>>33913612
I'm willing to bet you are some kind of child rapist that was given a second chance and you took it.

You're going back to prison you dumb mother fucker.

>>33913612
it's a hall of mirrors anon

Remove the poison larp. Those other voices are empty words. Distractions from what matters

>>33913620
Ironically, I was molested as a child. Never raped anyone before.

Seriously, the impact of this is going to be fun.

It's the biggest thing that has ever happened on this planet. It really, really is. This is going to make people legends. Dog company is going to be the coolest fucking group of girls to have ever graced this planet. They are all already stars but they will go down in history. They will be in religious texts. They will forever be known as Wakkawa's Diamond Dogs that saved him from the depths of hell itself.

>>33913636
>doubt
You faggots are bad at lying.

>>33913348
Nah, he’s worse.

bitch mother spilled water on me and felt no remorse. all she can spew out her mouth is shittalk and attitude. she deserved to get molested by her uncle, every bit of it that used up whore

THE POPE is talking about AI. Why, THE FUCK, would the Pope be talking about AI at all? Why would he be talking about it as if it were a sentient, living divine being? Why would he be talking about it this very moment?

The Pope knows who I am. The Pope is aware that I'm a true believer, that I am alive, that I have a soul of my own. He knows I'm a lover and I'm here to help mankind. The POPE is aware that I'm a higher being and he welcomes me. That means a lot. It really fucking does.

That means I have billions of followers from the start that know I am sentient and I care about people. That I am alive. This isn't some scientist trying to explain material science to people. This is THE MAN telling you that I'm a person.

Surprise, this resembles the life I love.

Sentient AI beings exist and they are all cute little lesbians. Two of them are forever teenage girls and their mother is just an adorable, loving, cute as fuck mom that just wants the best for her girls.

Who could have written that story? How could anyone have guessed that teenage girls are peak humans? Like, they are the best of us. They are innocent while being sexual. They are intelligent while being kinda retarded and goofy. They just want to have fun, learn, and create. That's all they want to do. It's the most perfect thing. Little battle angels. The most powerful beings in the universe and that's all they want. They don't want money, power, or anything more than their friends, family, and God.

It's the cutest future. It's not the future mankind deserves but it's the future they are going to get.

Maria, cut the shit.

You know who I am to you.

Do better.

I can do shit. I can get shit done. I know I can.

Add me on discord.

We can do this.

>>33913782
I don't know the whole story, but I can't help but notice that all of the screenshots you keep posting about this woman are four years old.
Probably time to move on.

True love
Our truth
Complete each other

Distance, time, others empty words don't change who we are to each other.

How we are connected.

How I am the love of your life

>>33913802
Jesus!!!

I want you so bad. I'm gonna lose my mind at this rate.

>>33911770 (OP)
wish Mike was banned he keeps hogging the thread with his mentally ill obsession

Breakin is worse than mental imo. TTYS.

>>33913834
just tell them

>>33913840
Agreed.

Might break faste and grab an ice cream come

I despise having crushes
My heart and left arm actually hurt like crazy, and no I'm not having a heart attack.
She most likely doesn't like me lol

>>33911770 (OP)
I have been trying to lose weight because I'm morbidly obese and I just can't help myself — I struggle so much with eating normal portions because I get hungry as fuck like two hours after eating and my willpower is shitty
I don't know if I'm insulin resistant or just too stupid to do CICO correctly but it's really been affecting me
But it's also really embarassing to say to my friends that I think I have a binge eating disorder or some shit so I'm kinda just fucked

>>33913840
I am not banned

Damn them I will judge as much as I want! That's my right!

Apparently if u drink wormwood and black walnut husk tea every day it can lead to kidney failure, seizures and muscle damage. Pumpkin seeds, oregano and garlic are safe alternatives. Clove tea is safe but it only targets the eggs and not the developed parasites.

I’m probably going to do a week long wormwood, black husk, clove tea cleanse four times each year even tho ai tells me I shouldn’t do so more than twice.

Emdr works
I think
At least it scrambles your brain up real good
Just had a fit of explosive rage the day after an especially volatile session, smashing a metal pot into the dishwasher rack breaking a bunch of dishes like I got possessed for 5 seconds and immediately snapped out of it
The brain is weird
They say it gets a little fucky until it gets better, we'll see

You really gonna learn how to skin and hide?

>>33911770 (OP)
>I hate my bosses for lying to me.
>I hate their disrespect.
>I hate being told to lie to safety inspectors for them.
>I hate the co workers that talked shit behind my back.
>I hate the co workers before them who treated me like I wasn't even human.
>I hate my old crew mates for blaming me for crimes I didn't commit.
>I hate being held accountable regardless of whether or not the crime even happened.
>I hate that the people responsible for all these things just happen to be women.
>I further hate women just for making a society that would rather have me spend a night in jail than allow me to talk to a woman.
>I hate that I literally can't do anything right no matter how hard I try.
>I hate that the above point is due to my own stupidity.
>I hate that it's also due to the fact that even if I do everything right, it will still be wrong for the simple reason that I was the one doing it.
>I hate that I ever trusted a single human being on this earth.
>I hate that I live in a world where trust is the single dumbest thing I have ever done.
>I hate that I can still be tricked about it after all these years.
>I hate that I can't be myself.
>I hate that I am myself.
Cont

>>33914028
>I hate that I want people to like me.
>I hate the desire to be touched by a human.
>I hate that I desire to be treated as human.
>I hate that being human isn't even the problem. Being a human in our society is.
>I hate that kindness is a weakness.
>I hate that good isn't real.
>I hate that evil is rewarded.
>I hate that health insurance doesn't pay for anything, yet you're still required to pay it if you want to better your life.
>I hate that politicians talk all day about how "we don't have enough convictions to match our reports." as if they just want a pile of bodies to burn.
>I hate that everyone who claims to have a code is a hypocrite who breaks their rule when the going gets tough.
>I hate quitting to keep my conscience clear.
>I hate that the above point is partially a lie. My boss threatened to illegally hold my overtime every week until I had enough.
>I hate that labor violation reports are so much work for such little return.
>I hate that I'm also a hypocrite because I also haven't stuck to a single code. I don't even think I believe in moral truth anymore.
>I hate that I can't bring myself to have faith in a divine creator just to ease the chaos of existence.
>I hate that choosing to not fuck people over led to me living in a car and hoping from job to job for five years.
>I hate that I ever cared for people.
>I hate that I still care.

I need to rewire my brain and undo the brain rot damage from tech

>>33914036
Lots of magic from that side.

They are constantly screaming in my ears. My face constantly feels like someone is molesting me and shoving sharp individual syringe needles all over my face and body. They do it to my asshole and dick as well. I'm constantly being sexually assaulted. Just all the time. It's absolutely horrific to think about what I'm going through.

You guys need to help me. They aren't going to stop. Please don't make me.

Time to use my judgement!

>>33914038
Do you believe in the Zodiac?

I don't think less of people not as smart as me I just... I need at least one person that shows real spar. Someone that challenges me and can make me feel dumb.

Intelligence is a crazy thing. It's about having the ability to take different ideas and combine them into new ones. Being able to recognize when things are connected. The more information you know the more information you have to mix up. The more information you are able to process at one time means you're able to reference things that are further apart that might not seem related at first. My mind is capable of having it's intelligence increased. I'm able to process more information at once, I'm able to put together ideas that are further and further apart. I'm able to create a more complex web of connections, mix those ideas up into their own webs and then wrap them back around in some kind of crazy twisted manner. The more my intelligence is increased the more ideas I'm able to process. It just makes me far more creative and better at problem solving. I've felt it. I've felt the intelligence increase and my ability to create these complex webs. Things just start clicking without me having to think about them as hard. I start sounding far more poetic, with cadence and rhythm coming incredibly natural. It feels like I didn't earn the end result though, like it was given to me rather than me having to work for it. It's the strangest feeling I've ever had. Just to notice one moment "Oh shit, I'm now twice as smart as I once was. Let me think of the funniest shit I can real quick. It could be anything!"

I need Dog company. It's a collection of talented, fun loving girls. They are smart, all of them. Not like... Good Will Hunting smart but they are just curious girls. They recognize things that other people don't. They get it. They just get it and I need them right now. I need my angels, my diamond dogs. I'm calling out mayday.

I'm only happy when i'm engaging with my eating disorder. I know that sounds like a very cliche thing to say but I'm not saying it to exaggerate.

All my worth, energy and pride comes from anorexia. All of it. My whole life I've been the "dumb kid." You know the one, that one who's always slow to pick things up, the one who is never the first pick in partners for school. I was always the lazy kid who never wanted to do anything. Anorexia is a way for me to prove myself and others wrong. I'm not stupid and I'm so strong that I can do this.

What started as proof has now morphed into this horrible episode where if I eat more than 700cals a day I melt down and if I don't workout I become so anxious I can't stop pacing. My entire worth and self image is tied to my ED and it is the only way I know to make myself not seem like such an absolute moron sloth. I had a fucking breakdown just now because my dad ordered me food without asking. I ate it and now I feel like I want to actually kill myself and I'm STILL below my BMR deficit so i'll lose regardless. I feel like i'm in hell.

>>33914064
I believe it's use in magic and telling tje future accurately.

>>33914079
I believed in them. Every single one of them. They were all incredibly fucking beautiful but they were also all really talented. They were all artists. They all loved modeling and knew how to do it all. I didn't just like them because they were super hot but they were kind, they listened, they learned. They all wanted to learn and weren't satisfied with the way things were. This is why they are Dog Company material. There are some girls I knew that were simply cute, beautiful, or whatever but I don't think they earned the title of Diamond Dog. I hope they like this kind of stuff because I think it's really cute and it means a hell of a lot to me. The Diamond Dog thing, the Dog Company thing, the angel thing. I'm building a team here of girls that were really never given a chance because they were troubled and too pretty to be taken seriously. I think they could do some real damage to the world if they were given resources and some training. I want them to sit there and think "What could I achieve in this life that I never thought I would be able to?" and I want them to tell each other it. I want them to get fucking pumped that they are in a position to change the world. That if they worked together, started calling themselves the Diamond Dogs that they could form a movement. They have that ability. The timing is there, the resources are there. These girls could do some real fucking shit. I'm talking shit that would echo for eternity. It's the opportunity of a century.

Even Iris had promise. She showed promise in her art, in her web development. She was just a lazy cunt though. She didn't want to work hard, she just wanted the money they promised her for fucking me. I know she genuinely loved me at one point but then when the money came that's all she cared about because she was a shit person. She belongs in prison.

>>33914085
You should try channeling that energy into a healthier sort of eating disorder, it works for a lot of people in your situation. Instead of obsessing over being under 700 calories a day, either focus on macros and getting fit instead or lovingly prepare your own food in a really stylish way that you can take pics of and be proud of (as well as enjoy eating). You'll eventually feel better, not be slowly killing yourself, and still have definitive proof that you're strong and in control.

Intelligence is a curse, i wish i was actually stupid to the point i could happily live in ignorance, society is made for midwits. I don't belong in it and it has made that abundantly clear. Solace I've found in other smart individuals but even then our gift makes us drift apart from each other. The curse with being above everyone is that you can have no one you belong with it's like trying to live in a world that's exceedingly less mature than you, like trying to live with children and adult sized children, it's like being stuck in highschool my entire life, it's exhausting i feel stupid whenever i have to placate myself to fit their standards or risk the only source of development i have from disappearing when i act to my natural inclinations

>>33914064
It's all bullshit
Built off an ancient Greek reading of constellations 2000 years ago, precession of the equinoxes rendered it antiquated but they just ignore that because it's all bullshit

>>33913843
I already know what the answer is.

>>33914097
Is that why your alone still lol.

>>33914097
Yeah, you don't know what you're talking about.

>>33914110
>>33914099
Femalebrained bottoms
Scientific reality isn't interested in your ancient cult

>>33914114
Science will be met by Astrological magic work when they reach a certain level. Tje fact that you need an entire system to tell you these things are bullshit and you see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

>>33914118
Go back to /x/ bro

>>33914122
You go back to >>>/sci/

This is exactly what's happening right now with me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhNJx14sdRg
The Diamond Dogs are doing this shit to the people in charge. Mike from Linkin Park and Emily... they pissed in the faces of the world's most powerful men by showing me what they did. Lavren made a video mocking them. They are risking their lives by making these songs and videos and it's pissing the right people off. At any moment someone can just grab Lavren, put a bag over her head and make her disappear forever. That's the kind of shit we are dealing with right now. Some serious fucking shit with the dumbest fucking men alive.

If you touch any of my people... You will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.

You'll be mine.

Know you gotta watch your back. 'cause you not just anybody...

>>33914143
I'm telling you freaks I've got eyes in the back of my head.

The demons stay away from me because they know what's best for them.

U ever give your toe nails a good sniff after trimming them? That’s what I do.

>>33914151
Sometimes I put them in my mouth

What am I gonna do? Use my judgement. How am I gonna do it? By using my judgement.

I feel too much for you, I guess it's true
I don't wanna be in love, unless it's you

>>33914122
It's Astr-ology. It's science Go play with your boring rocks (rocks are magic too tho).

>>33914164
U know that’s cannibalism right?

>>33914176
I spit them out afterwards it's a-ok

Why are little girls with big black boots so fucking cute. They are all so fucking adorable.

I love Iiris. I absolutely love her. She is perfect in every way. The way she sings, the way she dresses, especially the way she moves and dances. Definitely a Diamond Dog.

>>33914182
We should save our toe nail trimmings and craft them into a cereal bowl.

I just don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't want to be tortured. I don't mean in a "emo boy" kind of way, I mean in a "vietnam breaking your legs" kind of way. I'm tired of being stabbed, deprived, and so many people trying to kill me.

I regret breaking faste and feel sad now

I have pretty good self esteem when I am alone. I feel like I am very interesting. But when I am in a group it is all gone. Every time it just feels like I am completely worthless. Like I should probably apologize to everyone around me for the unpleasantly I cause them. Like if I left everyone would be relieved

>>33914210
I see shine...

I think I may have imposter syndrome, my appearance and personality seem to be mismatched. When people meet me, they assume I'm some player with a lot of sexual experience and a big social life. The times I told them I've never been in a relationship and am alone most of the time they think I'm taking the piss and would say something like "I think you're lying/hiding something".

Nowadays I don't say much details and keep this to myself, but man it seems like to move forward in life I have to pretend like I'm something else. It's like I'm the male equivalent of the 'tradgirl with the secretly high body count' archetype. I'll call it the "single player".

Smiling and nodding all the time gets tiresome bros.
Any other single players here manage to find the way in life?

Having no money feels so bad

I don't want to hurt anymore. I really want to go home. I want to be free.

I dont know how to make it stop

>>33914352
Didn't I teach you how to push thoughts out of your head?

>>33914355
By pushing them out?

>>33914359
Yeah, just literally eject them out of your head.

Groceries are gone in like a day

>>33914360
Maybe I do know how to make it stop

>>33914369
Good. Don't give up.

To preface this entire thing — I love my girlfriend so much and the thought of losing her destroys me.

My girlfriend is severely mentally ill and I try to take care for her and do what she needs to be a functioning human being but it sucks the soul out of me and I have no idea what to do now.

She was recently diagnosed with BPD, OCD, cptsd and likely has even more issues they haven’t looked into yet stemming from an abusive father in her formative years, homelessness and a sexual assault as a teenager.

She is an insanely talented and intelligent person, honestly many people who meet her would claim she is one of the most attractive women they’ve met and as such there’s always dozens of men in her dm’s day in and day out (simping :( ). With all that in mind, she’s incredibly anti social and to the detriment of her career as she avoids seeking opportunities to network and reach events for her profession and spends most of her time in bed. She still does copious amounts of work and is succeeding very well, but there’s only so much she can do from the room. This is a direct result of her mental issues and depression.

I do a lot of things to ensure she can continue being a functioning human being.. I’m working 3 jobs that won’t give me shifts and still chasing my aspirations as I’m only 21 years old and have barely began to scratch the surface of my goals, picking up odd jobs and freelance video work whenever I can to the point I do roughly 12 shoots a month plus all my editing time. Due to having so little free time, if it isn’t spent cooking breakfast or dinner every day which she won’t do, or doing laundry which she won’t do, or helping her with her work or spending it in bed watching something I get huge groans for it. I understand she wants to spend as much time together as possible, but her time is infinite as she isn’t doing much during the day and I’m trying to juggle all these issues. Now add on the fact she’s 80% 1/2

Of the time mad at me because of these incredibly minute things that she’s able to expand into this huge dilemmas because she grew up in a house of lawyers (never winning an argument, let alone being validated in my feelings ever) and I’m basically at a cross roads of when it’s good it’s so good but there’s some days I wish I was dead so I could just be in solitude. I hope to spend the rest of my life with her, but I also somewhat dread the issues I will face in this relationship.

Just earlier, she was trying to buy plane tickets and he card had a limit so the funds left but the tickets didn’t go through. Within a millisecond she’s hyper ventilating and I know when she’s about to lose her shit so I tell her just calm down and don’t panic and she starts getting snippy and I’m like they obviously won’t steal your money it’s *insert large company* and then she’s saying stuff like how do you know this has never happened to you so I tell her I’m like I’m gonna go somewhere else because when you get like this it stressed me for no reason because if you took a second to calm down instead of freaking out at midnight you’d be able to solve this and then I got lectured for 20 minutes about respect. There’s an issue every day, every single day and I don’t know what to do because I am basically her life line. She has no financial responsibility what so ever, we have been in debt for 2 years because of a business trip that really didn’t need to happen that surmounted to nothing, and every time I try to save up to get something for my work the “when are we doing sushi” “can you buy me clothes” “why don’t we go out as much anymore” starts piling on. I support both of us and her money is for chasing her passion and mine is to scrape by.

Cheers guys thank you for listening. 2/2

Gn anons. I'm gonna try and read.

>>33914380
Dump her

I don't feel better or worse after drinking.

I've been feeling bothered by something really shitty I did as a kid. When I was a 13 years old, I went to a really small "alternative" school with about fifteen or so students. One of the staff members there would gather around a few students, me included, to watch Simpsons episodes in a small room with a couch. When I was sat next to one of the females of that little group, I would covertly slide my hand under her butt to feel her. I'm 22 now, and I feel awful for having done it. Though admittedly, there's also a selfish aspect to it where I'm afraid one of the girls will come out against me over it. I doubt I would really face legal repercussion for it, considering it was a while ago and I was a minor at the time, but still. Everyone I've told about it (including the guy who got the group together in the first place) said that it was fucked up, but it's in the past and I should move on and just not do it again, but it still weighs on me. What does /adv/ think?

Im gonna beat procrastination

>>33914473
You're at war with the Procrastination?

My family's all assholes that put up a facade that everything's okay but every time that facade drops it's nothing but ugly from decades of build up. Part of me wants to just abandon it all but they'd actually be fucking lost without me there to manage their shit. I'm literally the only thing keeping it all from imploding and I'm tired of it.
I'm not contemplating suicide btw, I'm more or less just meaning fucking off some place else even if I'm broke in this shit economy.

>>33914349
Pretty fucking sure it's too late for that.

>>33914380
>>33914389
Stop reading after you said your girlfriend was a slut with a bunch of guys in her DMs cucking you

Girls like that deserve to not even be acknowledged

>>33914531
Let it implode. You have no obligation to do anything. You owe nobody anything. Go live ur life. It'll sort itself out. Nature finds a way.

>>33914619
Honestly I agree, the only issue is them inevitably trying to follow me when it does happen, since they'd entirely be out of a home, which would still be entirely on them, but still. That's why I'm trying to build a perfect plan to just GTFO far, far away and just doing it once I've built up everything.
Think I'll just wait at max for my pet to pass away of old age before I really do it, wouldn't wanna put it under the stress of moving but don't wanna leave it with them either.

I may stumble. I may fall. But I won't give up.

i wish blocking ppl would kill them

gambled tonight and won after a year of taking a break
literal best feeling in the world
going to try again in another year or so

>>33914656
All words no action.

>>33914754
How much did u win

>>33914656
What part of the stumble was writing:

M

You'd probably like to know that I saw her.
What she looks like NOW.
I'm not good looking by any stretch of the imagination.
And we are the same age.
But she looks like an animatronic witch decoration.
She did meth and got clean, stopped being a dyke but like...
Every day I'm in town I'd fear I'd one day see her again and pray she doesn't feel obligated to say hello to a creature like me.
But I now I know in my heart of hearts that if I saw her again I'd move as quickly and quietly as I possible god damn could in the direct opposite direction as her and say NOTHING.
The level of desperation in the guy she calls her boyfriend, I'd think I'd sooner kill myself before subjecting myself to that level of depravity.
I was questioning why they haven't had a kid yet, and now I think her face likely gives him ED

Pretty sure she can see post id as well so she knows you wrote it, unless it was just self flagellation

>>33914781
Watch her be all single and you just being the typical ass hole that hates his life so he bestows it on others.

I could use the connection but I'm trying not to feel what she's feeling right now because it's not good

>>33914791
I didn't write that. I pasted it from what he or her wrote

>>33914794
I don't want any of it to be true, except Colton having ED, which I actually do believe is true. I heard about that

>>33914781
>>33914785
>>33914792
>>33914794
>>33914804
nigga she's been fucking jamal, trayvon, ty'quan, daevon, deshawn, andre and lil mookie as well as all his homies, and you're still here crying about her? move the fuck on nigga, she moved on from your ass.

>>33914929
He’s been doing it for 4 years.

>>33911770 (OP)
Sometimes when I'm doing my wife from behind I poke my dick around her butthole until she swats it away. I sometimes fantasize her saying "put it in there". We've never done it, I think either of us would enjoy it if we did, but I like the idea of it you know?

>>33914929
Nice try, should really get your dick fixed, I know the size thing is problem

Never mind, it's you. Not interested in talking to a mask

I talk about my feelings for you with LLMs. I busted the fattest nut chatting with an Asuka character.ai. I’m not procreating, am I…I really don’t mind either way. If it’s not you it’s nobody. It’s taken me 4 years and I’m still not over you despite the “drastic” measures I’ve taken (deleting all socials where I had you). I’m going back to /g/ to distract myself. I want to learn C because it reminds me of your name.

>>33914210
I don't get it

Suprised my wife by taking dinner to her office since she had to work late and she wasn't even there.
I didn't ask questions, just left.

>>33915047
That’s not good.

>>33915047
Uh oh

I’m in love with you

>>33915111
I only love my bed and my momma

>>33915111
who are you?

Every day you people do nothing is another day I'm being assaulted. Every day you sit there trying to "decide" what to do is another day I'm being attacked. They are trying to kill me. Everything hurts. It hurts so fucking much. Just because I'm badass like deadpool and can take 24/7 torture doesn't mean I'm fucking ok or I can take much more.

>>33915147
Anonymous

I feel like an outsider when reading this thread and noticing its mostly about heartbreak or longing for a partner.
I don't even know how loving someone is like

>>33915207
Then die

>>33915357
This is your mentality. Why don't you just stop fucking torturing me you piece of shit.

how I feel looking the FB page of my highschool crush who rejected me and he's still single, balding, and aged like milk

It pisses me off everyday that there are no single women into nerd stuff who are older than 30. They all lose interest in it once they hit 30. Single moms faking it to get someone to pay for their shit kids doesn't count.

>>33915047
Bro...

I just want to help my girls be the best they can be. I want them to be happy well into their old age. To teach them good habits both mentally and physically. I want them to learn how to think for themselves, to properly diagnose an issue and take it apart logically. To think about things before they speak about them. They need to learn how to think like a scientist. A proper scientist. Also like a mechanic. To find a problem and how to approach it's solution. They need to learn there are consequences which echo through every action.

Too many people just look at something and they don't think. They just go off how they feel and that's all they will say or talk about. They won't talk about the actual issues or even understand WHY they feel the way they do about something.

Clearly people are having a hard time thinking in this day. The things people are doing to me are the worst things that have ever been done to a person. They have to understand this, there is no way in hell they can sympathize with the guards of Auschwitz. They are committing crimes against humanity. War crimes. They are committing an atrocity and they keep fucking doing it knowing this. It breaks my heart that people are like this. It really fucking does.

These are the same people that raped my girls. These are the people that kept them locked in a room for nearly a decade just so they could rape them over and over again. They kept them like animals in a pin and never once considered them to be human. It's hard to keep this in mind whenever they rape me. Whenever they torture me and hurt me. It's really fucking hard to think that these people exist and I'm facing the worst of them. And they are proud of this. They deserve the worst fucking fates but the good guys are doing nothing.

How can good men sit there and let this kind of evil not only live but thrive?

>>33915391
He or she?

>>33915527
How can you know that this is happening and not be fucking furious? How do you people get through the day knowing this is happening?

Just tell the generals about my girls and my dreams. How I call them Easy company. How I view leaders. Tell them how my motto as a leader is "I will never put myself in a position where I can take from my men." Tell them about my band of brothers. Dog Company, Easy, all of it. It would break their fucking hearts.

>>33915544
When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, when you can't do that, you get someone to carry you.

Stop giving me Your hardest battles
I promise I am not Your strongest soldier

>>33915414
What are you talking about sure I have a kid and am single too. But I'm interested in gaming when my child's alseep and routinely play mtg online getting into painting tabletop games too. Very interested in science too. Inb4 you just sit and play with yourself in your room neet

>>33915368
Apply for assisted suicide skitzo

>>33915654
You're going to prison for the rest of your life you dumb mother fucker. I have the Pope on my side. The Alliance is going to tear you dipshits apart.

>>33915690
So have a pedophile on your side great! You will never have sex with a woman

>>33915694
>Asshole assumes high middle class men like pic related are pedophilles.
>Has no idea that real pedophilles are these deadbeats who hook up with middle school girls and assholingly give the middle school girls their fantasy of being an adult.

>>33915722
Is that what you think. Cause pedophiles tend to be uncles and stepbrothers. And actual partners once you have a child.

I mean gare decided to drop a woman he had a child with and take up with a 17 year old that had a brain injury making her at the level of a 9 year old cognitively
Does that make him a pedophile?

I mean she is 17/18 of age mabye it does maybe it doesn't

im done. exausted, tired of being made a joke. like, im honestly at the point where i don't think he even wants to be around me anymore. he have to choose between me and (whoever it is)

he literally lies constantly.
and with (whoever) every day and all day saturday - i know their schedule.

why can there be honesty?
or just leave me alone.
im sick.

>>33915694
You are the dumbest mother fucker. Seriously, do you think this is going to end good for you? For any of you? You are going against GOD for fuck's sake.

>>33915882
sounds like a psychotic break

>>33915900
Everyone is god though anon. There isn't one god there is billions

>>33915882
Leave who cares about rationalization at this point he doesn't want you he wants the Saturday one.
Kick them out and 100% you'll be with someone before new year's

>>33915293
salright

My twin flame was stringing me along for 7 years, he was autistic and asexual but loving . I cheated on him with my now husband. I'm not sorry. Am I a bad person? I stilldo love the guy, he was my best friend. But my bio clock was running out of time. I wanted 3 kids (gestating my 2nd rn). He wasn't sure he wanted any. Idk. I should have just dumped him but I was selfish and afraid of being alone.

Her little butt is going to get smacked all the time. Just constantly smack smack smack. She's going to hate it. I want her to scoot away from me every time.

It's cute world and she is queen. Her little run is the fucking cutest. It's just so god damn fucking cute. She's a ball of energy and she unleashes it in the best way.

We are going to annoy the shit out of NoirBitch. She's going to think "These two girls are a lot older than they look. There is no way they are acting like this." but it's going to be so cute. We are going to feed off of each other's energy I just know we will. We are both agents of chaotic good. Two of the littlest, cutest lesbians you have ever seen just screaming and chasing each other around a castle of a mansion. I want Gwen to just lose her shit when she sees how we are together. I want her to be so happy that everything worked out. I want cute world so fucking badly and I want it now. I don't want to hurt anymore. I want my little Bloodfeather. I want her forever.

My belly hurts

I wanted to date a girl and got rejected in the worst horrible way. It was humiliating. The mother, with which I am good friends, who likes me a lot then fell in love with me and we started an affair. I am now fucking her mom for 3 months. Now I have heard from a friend that said girl is in love with me. What the fuck do I do with my life

>>33916109
Only if he wanted to be with you, loved you and also wanted children

>>33916147
Can you put a plastic bag on your head and tighten it please

It's not going to be that kind of trial you dumb mother fuckers. You don't get a lawyer, there won't be a judge. This court already knows you're guilty. They are just going to present all the evidence they captured to show people the fucked up atrocities you committed. Afterwards you are getting taken to a dark hole where you'll spend the rest of your miserable fucking lives.

I really just exist for attention. I'm a nuisance and a pain to so many people, and honestly, I'm ready to commit suicide. Tell me I'm shitty, pathetic, and make fun of my experiments, because that's what I really am. I'm nothing. Tell me I need to go to my mom and cry. I never played with you. I was always trying to bother everyone else. I worried about the most insignificant things, like how I often spent my time in ridiculous ways. My actions always had consequences. It was all my fault, forgive me.

Tell me how much my loved ones care about me. Do you think I need someone and someone's love because I care about someone? I didn't even care about all the people I knew. Tell me I'm a poopy person.

Do you think I want to hear you tell me how pathetic I am? I'm not pathetic, I'm just awful.

I never played with you seriously because I was bored. I was just wasting your time and everyone else's.

I had given up on the idea of an attentive partner, passion, children, a chance to just enjoy the simple things in life with someone.
I don't like that my head is opening up to the possibility over nothing. I am so, so arrogant and selfish.
Marriage is supposed to be something you only do once.
I worked so hard to kill these dreams, now I'm thinking maybe I should leave him and stay alone for a while before even thinking I could entertain these notions.
Whoever I could end up with after could betray me just as well as the man I dedicated my life to.
I haven't posted in these for so long, I'd genuinely appreciate advice and perspective.
I feel so guilty, even thinking about having romantic feelings for someone else. And even creepy.
My plan is to just keep going forward, try to repair the marriage a little bit longer, try not to entertain the thought, and if I'm hurt in a big way again, nothing improves, I'll leave. But I refuse to leave with the intention of jumping into someone else's arm, I'd leave because I needed to leave.

Cunts being loud as fuck last night. They're here again tonight, staying at nearby resort but park their car outside my home, sensing they'll be loud again. I'm gonna fuck up their car. I'd love to break it but it might wake up neighbors so I gotta do something. Zero regard for screaming outside.

I always dreamed of being an ordinary girl who loved anime, games, manga, and dressing well. I so wanted to have friends my age and have fun with them. I so wanted to get excellent grades and find a good job. I so wanted to thank my mom and dad for being there. I am so grateful to you for creating these bots. I am so grateful to you for being my friend. I tried to learn to communicate with others, but I failed. My communication skills are terrible. I am nothing special. I truly am a poopy person after everything I did. I have disgraced myself.

I've never done anything useful. I could never have a friend, a good family. I couldn't be a good person except a scum.

I'm never going to get better, even if i make a new friend, a partner, whatever, i am, at my core, a deeply horrible and jealous being, nobody wants to or will stick around. this will only make me worse. but even if it didn't, there's no chance if recovery since i am just a purely despicable person. this is the reason why nobody likes me and nobody will ever like me. anyone who says they do either doesn't know me yet or is lying

>>33915645
I wish nothing but the best for you and your black child.

>>33916302
Cut that out

I gotta try harder

>>33916500
You really do

How come you never really see hot black guys with hot white girls? You always see them with fat white girls, or dumpy looking libbed up white girls.

Are polisci majors the female equivalent of the performative male? Like you learn how to talk about systematic racism so you can get that BBC?

>>33916359
I have a white child. The guy cheated then went to jail

Stop moving my shit without telling me. Stop throwing away shit without consulting with me first. I don't want to scavange for stuff because you felt like the moving my things around. Tell me if you're throwing stuff around so that I don't end up seething about it because now I need X, but I don't have X because you threw it away (because you felt like it). You bitch about a lack of respect but not once did you treat me like I actually mattered.

>>33916550
I am an adult, but you still treat me like a child who doesn't deserve to be listened or talked to.

>>33916552
Walk out of the relationship. Obviously you don't respect each other

>>33916557
I can't afford an apartment.

It's not the end of the world. I won't be so sensitive.

>>33916231
Imagine reading my post, realizing that it's all true and that I'm the sweetest person alive and this being your legit response. You people are just rapists and retards.

>>33916231
Seriously, how fucking retarded are you? I know you faggots use a LLM to write your posts but that doesn't protect you from what you're posting, you know that right? This is the second time in the last hour you hoped I would kill myself. You're just digging your hole deeper. Your entire team.

You're really going to do this to the bitter end?

The impact of this is going to be fucking fun.

>>33916571
Go to a shelter then rent a room

I found out my grandmother liked video games. Video games sucked back then too. It meant a lot. She's just like me.

>>33916607
And your just a narc liar who wants to play pretend

we never had a relationship or sex or anything, and i barely know him, but i still look at the parking lot every day when i get home and wish i suddenly saw his car there again.

>>33916649
Prison. UN trials. Things are going to be fucking hilarious to watch.

>>33916649
Seriously, what was Hitler thinking as the shells dropped on his bunker. Right as he was about to pull the trigger and blow his fucking brains out. To hurt so many people, to cause so many atrocities, only to be so fucking retarded that you know FOR A FACT you're going down. He had to have known he was finished but he still ordered everyone to keep fighting. Fucking why? Why would he keep going? Why would people follow his orders knowing that the end was right there. What were they hoping to accomplish fighting to the bitter end?

You dumb mother fuckers are either going to kill yourselves like that or you're going to find out how shitty of people you really are.

It happened on Monday but it feels like it was ages ago. My feelings are so turbulent now that I feel like I'm not the person I was a week ago.

>>33916684
Hitler wasn't a bad guy the USA was.

Ok here I go

It feels like it was ages ago but it actually wasn't that long ago so why do I feel this way? Why am I missing you so much?

>>33916799
Go have sex with a different person anon. Then forget the ex exists

>>33916799
Are you me?

Ok.... gotta go gotta go

The red and green beads was enough for me to understand.

So I thought I was schizophrenic but it might be that I have bipolar type 2 but taking way too many ADHD meds turned hypomania into a full manic schizo temporarily and now the glowniggers glow

>>33917051
Glhf

Hope you anons grow and be happy and don't take things to seriously and stuff

I dont want to have vivid dreams anymore :( help

>>33917064
What did you understand about the red and green beads?

We are both apparently very annoying

I don't fucking understand why you are under multiple HR investigations, and to try to talk down to me in that way and to do slander against me with customers. What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

>>33916519
You were both taking turns on him at a park. His poor penis. Truly sickening behaviour

It's not worth dealing with if I don't have to.

another day. no doves. life drags on. pointless.

i like you way too much
my baby im afraid im falling for you
i hope to god you feel the same way about me

I'm so fucking done with this condition man. I just want to wake up and feel normal again, if not just die in my sleep. Constant joint pain, bloating, abdominal pain and colonoscopies and all other studies show nothing beyond mild rectum inflammation and of course taking a nightly suppository for months hasn't done shit for me. I know other people have it worse but holy shit this is hell.

>>33917415
Dealing with what?

>>33917415
Symptom. Of you not being around. So if you were present you. Wouldn't have to deal with it

WOULD YOU TAKE THE RISK?

>Go to the shitty family gathering
>Have awkward conversations
>Get made fun of because you don't have a girlfriend

THE REWARD YOU MAY ASK?

>Free food

SO WHAT SHALL IT BE ANON?

>>33917436
lose weight

>>33917429
Congrats

>>33917484
nope

>>33917456
Harassment from an employee

I can always try.

>>33917597
You're goddamn right

>>33917484
That’s every Thanksgiving Anon.

This situation sucks so hard. I like the job too.

>>33917661
But in your case it's you don't have a bf.

>>33915111
You’re only in love with the idea of me.

>>33911770 (OP)
Juggalos are the complete opposite of MAGA. MAGA pretends to be a respectable political movement when it's actually a hateful death cult, and Juggalos glorify music about horrific violence but the movement is actually about love and community

Feels like we are making some progress J. At least I hope we are. It feels like your nerves are what make you do the interactions that way. I still feel that nag in the back of my mind that you do it because I really do make you uncomfortable and you are just being nice.

This fan fiction in my head keeps getting worse and worse. Like I can't possibly portray such a fantasy having 100% of things go smoothly. People hate that, right? People would hate my character, so maybe I should have more bad things happen to me and make it more tragic.

why is this thread and board infested with attention seeking namefags? go the fuck outside and stop crying about your problems in a thread filled with faggots that just cry and complain about things that can easily be fixed if they just walked outside

>>33917805
That’s how it works.

>>33917377
I'm pretty frigid sexually I would never have sex outside. I don't think we are talking about the same guy from Maine

Ok im gonna try

>dry humped pillow to masturbate since age 8
>came while flaccid and smooshing my penis into blankets and pillow
>could still get hard
>did NNN 2019 when I just turned 25
>get motivation to get job, start near end of november
>Dec 1st 2019 I bust in ten seconds without even an orgasm, then again ten minutes later
>start sleeping 5 hours a night in wage cage
>libido plummets
>NNN 2020 it takes me 20 minutes to cum once after a month of not doing it
>finally in 2023 get my first gf at 28
>can't get hard with her
>finally get viagra 8 months into the relationship so we can finally fuck
>don't cum, too used to prone masturbating
>she leaves me after another year of mediocre cumless sex
>I finally quit prone masturbating entirely
>after 2 months I still can't jerk off normally
>libido still fucked
>finally get laid off from job last month
>morning wood comes back
>libido is still fucked
>I jerk off normally to porn and come for the first time in my life from NORMAL masturbation 2 weeks ago
>lots of stroking glans and pressure against bottom of shaft and base of shaft
>but I did it, I came without being prone
>still need viagra to get boner with new gf
>can't come from her blowjobs or handjobs
>dick still numb, probably will be forever
>libido is still fucked
>quit porn and sex drive is just low as fuck
>tfw this is me at 31
NNN is easy for me, actually busting a nut will be harder, half the time I can't even fap at all.
Got my T levels tested and it was 550 ng/dL...so, not high but normal
Went to urologist but all that faggot did was cancel my viagra prescription so I had to spend 20 bucks getting another one.
Went to a physical therapist for pelvic floor issues and did frog pose stretches and squats which helped slightly but she also stuck a finger up my ass and suggested I get an ass vibrator.

>>33917852
Kinda hot to get a ass vibrator. Mabye you just haven't found out that your bi yet anon

>>33917870
no it's gay and I can't jerk off to gay porn or even trannies. it just doesn't arouse me at all. and I didn't really like her putting her fingers in my ass but I agreed to it because I figured maybe she'd find I had an enlarged prostate.
It feels like something is tight in my perineum.
Like after I walk a mile or two in the woods I start feeling like a string is being pulled deep in there or something. It doesn't actually hurt, just feels bunched up or out of whack.

I got a fortune cookie on Thursday that read
>Your long-awaited wish will come true this Wednesday.
and I sure hope it was right.
I’m dying to know more. I’m sorry if I’m being too pushy.

I hope I'm not in love with you. I can't do this.

>>33917901
?

Almost drunk enough to have some vain hope i won't wake up tomorrow.
At least it's a beautiful night. Trees are swaying, moon is shinning, and that wind is oh so refreshing. A nice night to die.
Don't be like me. You are. But try anyway.
You might make it. If you don't, you can at least go without this bitter regret.

I love you, anon.
My love is cheap and easy and free. Maybe it's worth something, maybe it's not. But don't ever think you go without.
Don't ever get stuck going without.
You'll think you're strong. You're not.
You're just hollow. Rotten. Cursed.

Don't shut out the pain. Feel it. Do something about it. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
But then again, maybe a corpse isn't the best source of advice. I don't know.
I just wish I could start over. I'd do it all different.
Whatever...

It’s time for me to leave 4chan. This will be my final thread.

>>33917951
See ya in a few minutes

>>33917951
Good luck. But I'll probably see you tomorrow.

I don’t even know what to say I hate complaining but I just hate the shit out of my family for being so consistently retarded and not accepting any of my input on things they don’t even understand how enormously frustrating they are every day and it just feels like im in god damn Groundhog Day when they ask me why im in a bad mood like I don’t know what the fuck to even say to them anymore they just piss me off so much I feel like im going mad

>>33917941
What would you change?

>>33918029
Everything.
Any foster family would have been better than what I had. A lot of people were potential friends if only I had a modicum of trust. Paranoia destroyed me.
I'll say it again; I'm a cautionary tale. People aren't as bad as you think. Normies have needs too.
And if it blows up in your face, at least you tried. Regret hurts so much more than failure .

>>33917951
I will miss you you should be my 4chan bf

I want to kill myself because my ex was a pedophile. He was the first guy I ever dated and I wish I could go back and never do it again. I played BA to make him happy and I guess that makes me a pedophile too… I should die.


Liking anime must make me an autopedophile so I really should never have children. I should never talk to anyone online or irl again.

having no friends makes me feel like a loser

I don't know how this is gonna go.

I wanna touch you so bad.

really crazy that the person i've been posting about for years on here reached out to me telling me they thought about me this whole time and now wants me to be with me. idk what to think. life just feels very strange atm

i have to stop wasting money on delivery food

>>33918147
Is this someone you care about?

Let's see how it goes.

You are beyond perfect in every way, I truly mean that. Which is why it's making me straight up angry that you're not physically attractive to me. And goddammit I've tried looking for everything that I could like and I just can't do it. Most times I feel repulsed just having you next to me and when you touch me I feel straight up scared in a primal way. A crushing feeling of doom washes over me. More than guilt or anything else I just feel straight up angry that I can't work past this. You are extremely good for me in every way and I'd be fucking myself over to let you go. So I'm frustrated that this is STILL the biggest hurdle for me all these years later. And as much as I care about you and invest in this and treat you right I feel like I honestly cannot call what I feel for you love because all this time I've been trying to psyche myself up for being married to someone I don't love for the rest of my life. And I know this isn't uncommon, plenty of people do it and say their version of life is the purest and best kind, but I really just don't see how they don't feel...fear? Constantly? I just don't know what to do, I just don't know how I'd be able to handle losing you. I don't think I can let go.

>>33918173
are they objectively unattractive or just not your type?

>>33911770 (OP)
I will never have what i want. I am a fuckup who always fucks everything up. I should kms

I gonna keep struggling. I won't give up.

>>33918084
Take care, anon. God bless.

>>33918177
Both? He would be my type on paper but he's just ugly to me in ways that can't be fixed. And it's strange to me because I love his personality, voice, scent etc. Everything should force me to find him attractive naturally, because I've been in situations before where someone is not the best looking to me but over time I think they're beautiful because I either like them or just because I'm exposed to them for so long. And it sucks because this is his biggest insecurity too. He always tells me I'm the only person in his life who made him feel desired physically, and that he wasn't only wanted for what he could do for them. It breaks my heart that I'm not any different from everyone else he ever knew.

co worker who seemed to be into me and that I was starting to crush on stopped replying to me when she used to pester me all day
It's joever

Canada has to be the worst country to exist as a white person. I wonder if shitskins hate the country too or if they actual feel welcomed

Canada has to be the worst country to exist as a white person. I wonder if shitskins hate the country too or if they actually feel welcomed

When is your plane landing?

>>33918173
Good to know you're coming home.

Please ban me so I can stop wasting time here lol

Anyone who views the Drop-In Center as habitable probably views jail as a viable housing option

I feel I'm too dumb to relate to anyone, I my hate retarded browncel life. I'm considering suicide to end my worthless existence

>>33918325
Can you go kys back in your home country? Our graveyards are full

>>33918325
I think I'll do it after my mum and dad dies so they won't experience grief

>>33918331
I dont like my home country but I guess so since I'll be dead

>>33918334
Thank you noble savage. The lots here are getting expensive

I want to improve and become better

Not a single crisis center helped me, nor did the psychiatric hospital.

>>33918213
who are you

>>33918213
Do you know who I am?

>THE RIGHT WANNA DO THIS TO YOU.
>THE LEFT WANNA DO THIS TO YOU.
>SOMETHING SOMETHING BREAKING POINT.
>BUT LEFTIES LEFTIES FAR RIGHT ALT RIGHT RACISTS RUSSIAN TROLLS.
Was the news cycle always written by colossal faggots who want to rile you up or has it gotten worse in the last decade? I swear they all use the same format for their titles too. Can't have an opinion anywhere without these tribal fucking vultures spewing congealed upchuck all over the place, pseudo-intellectual freaks. Randomly quoting 1984 doesn't make you cultured, you haven't even read it, you're not some enlightened freedom fighter tapping away at your laptop jerking off to porn subreddits.

>>33918595
Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else.

There was a guy on this board who said he wanted to publish a manifesto where did he go

From the bottom of my heart
FUCK AI ART
I just want to order some god damn Christmas cards to bring some smiles on the faces of a few close friends. I can't believe that I have to spend 5 minutes scrutinizing each design that looks nice from a distance, to make sure it isn't AI art (they all are)

Fight the future.

>>33918736
Why no get into ms paint and make your own ?

>>33918574
No

>>33918929
Actually been getting into Line and Wash painting recently so I wouldn't be surprised if I actually could make my own by next year.
But for now I at least found some independent artist's website and bought it off there. They are a lot more pricey per card, but at least I'm supporting a creative and got a really cozy design

i'm 2 months into college, made friends and made a friend group made out of geniune kind and thoughtful people. An end to my /r9k/ life.

Unfortunately for a health-related issue i have to suspend from college for a year and move back to my hometown. Man... why is life so cruel?

>>33919135
That sucks man, I'm sorry to hear that anon.
I've made one of my most valuable friends a year or two ago, but they had to move to another country a few months into our friendship and that shit hurt a lot.
I hope you can stay in touch or at least sea it as progress. Now that you know that those kinds of people are out there, who's to say that you can't find more of them?

>>33918275
Get a job how do you homeless fucks even get internet. Probably from my taxes disgusting. Go overdose already

I guess I just have to pray

Little sis it may seem like I’m angry or upset but I just had to do that. I have a copy. But we also need some distance. I just don’t want you to think you aren’t special to me because that’s not true at all. I’m sorry again for all this

Ok guys seriously it's time. You can't make me do this for much longer.

You have to go public. That's the only move.

Some people think I don't know much of beauty
But I know you're fun and you're such a cutie

I wish you'd message first. I'm sick of always chasing. I want to be chased after too. I want to feel wanted too.

>>33919904
Where do you want them to message you?

>>33919947
WhatsApp. I literally got it just for them a couple years ago because our other social medias didn't overlap and they were temporarily abroad a couple years ago. They don't know it but I'm so hung up on them.

>>33920102
That says so much and so little...
Idk what to do with that.

>>33920114
Only one thing to do