>>41015016
We absolutely did reach the bump limit, for the first time in a bit! Things are looking up and I am super grateful to you all.
>>41016037
Does it mean there is at least a modicum of certainty to things now? Still.. it sucks that things are rough as they are for you. My weekend so far was quite restful, I hope yours was in its own way pleasant.
>>41010176
>looking healthy and being a normal weight does not equal looking attractive and being skinny
Trust me, while some people may have the standards you describe, they are far from universal or else I would be single too. Granted, you might say that I as a masc and a top face completely orthogonal expectations, and you're right, but *as one* and knowing people attracted to all manner of people, you are within the strike zone of way more people than you think.
>My "gay voice" is too cutesy
>id like to learn to do dumb cute dances
>my mannerisms and how i talk dont match up with how i look irl.
You deny yourself a lot on the grounds of being too masc. Too masc/old to let yourself do cute/silly things, too much so to express yourself.
>I just dont think my inner self+interests and body match up.
All of these qualities you mentioned are endearing to me, and things I would find charming in anyone no matter their looks, and given the reference material you provided you are not at all as masc as you think. Of course, this is not entirely about self perception, as you said, what you really seem to worry about is:
>I would 100% gather everyone's scorn
Some people may be judgmental like that, I get it. You have come to fear the world and its people because you expect everyone to be, for the lack of a better term, a hyper vigilant turbonormie waiting for an opportunity to hammer down any nail that sticks out. But.. while those people and places full of them are abundant, you can cultivate an inner circle that locks them out. I sure did.