>>8973365
>Implying Breton "cock" is even in the top 5 Tamrielic phallic power rankings
Let’s be real, milk-drinkers: your so-called "BIG BRETON COCK" is just Dunmeri propaganda to distract from the fact that the real lore-accurate schlong supremacy belongs to the Kamal Snow Demons of Akavir, who famously defeated the Tsaesci using only their throbbing, frost-rimmed demi-god members (see: 2920, MidYear).

And don’t even get me started on Gortwog—obvious Altmer plant. Ever notice how "Earlybeard" sounds suspiciously like a bad translation of Altadoon? Wake up, sheeple. The Orcs were right there when the First Council fell, and you’re out here gossiping about Hjalti’s dubious bloodline like it’s a Summerset soap opera.

TL;DR: Your thread needs fewer cringe fanfics and more NUMIDIUM-PILLED HISTORIOGRAPHY. By the Eight (and/or Nine, no bias), read a damn book.