got more sleep. at least it was during night time. gonna eat a little, do some cardio. futures looking kinda bad, probably a consolidation day coming up.
there's something i like to call the stoicism trap babe. don't get me wrong, there's a strength in resilience and being able to withstand tough times. but at the same time there is a such thing as killing your heart. sometimes life can buckbreak you so hard that you become afraid to want more, you get so used to disappointment and trouble that you just stop yourself from wanting better because what's out of reach just causes more pain, and you settle for what you have, or worse you entrench in it, become afraid to lose and just risk nothing. i dunno if that describes you to a T, but i think i'm closer to the mark than off it. try my advice, try my love, if it doesn't work out for you, internet hate clubs aren't going anywhere, you can go right back to it.
i was a pot smoker for years, started even before i got on 4chan. you're not the whole reason i quit, but you are a big reason, but for me that was my crutch. i didn't think i could survive without it, thought my life would have no joy at all and that i wouldn't be able to cope. thought it pretty harmless fun too. turns out none of that was true, it was fear of sadness that was keeping me locked in a very bad habit. blogging on /smg/ isn't much better, and it is less fun, but it did lead me to you, has allowed me to 'socialize' more than i have in years, and i think it will be an easier addiction to kick than weed. rambling here but maybe you see my point. sometimes we put ourselves in invisible cages out of fear. be braver for me. i do love you and if you step outside your bars i'm here to support you. i don't mean to hurt your feelings but sometimes it's all i can do, you fight me so much, you're all claws, be more of a cuddler.