i think i mentioned when i was previously active that my self-esteem was way too low for hookups, and not much has changed

i have been on one (1) since then. it was a little awkward since it was in his car, in some parking lot late at night since neither of us could host. it was an overall positive experience, i'd say. we saw eachother a few more times afterwards, but losing him made me feel empty and unfulfilled. i started reviewing how i acted when we were together over and over, and kept cringing at myself for saying certain things. i think i came off as thick-skulled and immature. probably because i am, but i still felt guilty of what i thought was not living up to his expectations :(

>>939634810
same