I used to say I wasn't one of the incels who thought I was owed a wife, but my position on that is starting to change.
Why should I contribute to society if all I have to look forward to is my empty apartment?
Fuck that. Society owes me a wife. I wish I lived in a time when a woman would be betrothed to me whether she liked it or not.

I think what's really demoralizing is that I have to try to be normal. Most people don't have to try. They just are. They don't have to actively force themselves to enjoy normal hobbies, they just find them interesting naturally. They don't have to go through hell and high water for the mere chance of talking to a girl who may or may not date them. They just date girl after girl as they come and go until they find wife material. They don't have to make an effort to go out more often, they just end up going out all the time because they have friends. They don't have to try to make people like them. People just like them.
The fact that I have to make an effort to be normal means it truly was over before it began. Almost 22 years on this earth with nothing to show for it.
This post is me giving up. It's my acceptance that I'm going to die alone. I'm not going to kill myself or anyone else, because that's what the world expects of me and that will be the one thing I will not give it. I am simply stating that I have accepted that it's over for me.