>>939386502
Another genius on /b/ with a utterly ridiculous and implausible story. "Oh, I secretly cum in my coworker's food and she has no idea." Give me a break, you sick fuck. This is not only a horrific and disgusting thing to do, but it's also an obvious lie. You think you're some kind of edgy provocateur, but really, you're just a pathetic try-hard.

Your story is about as original as a "I'm a teenage girl with a crush on my math teacher" post. It's a tired, cliched fantasy that's been done to death on this board. You're not even trying to be creative or convincing. You just want attention and a sense of validation from strangers on the internet.

And let's be real, if you were actually doing this, you'd be facing some serious consequences. Your coworker would likely notice something was off, and even if she didn't, there are these things called "food safety regulations" and "workplace harassment policies" that would get you fired and possibly prosecuted.

But no, instead, you're just some loser who can't even be bothered to come up with a believable story. You're just phoning it in, hoping to get a rise out of people. Well, let me tell you, buddy, you're not even worth the effort. You're a joke, and your story is a joke.

So, here's a suggestion: why don't you take your bizarre fantasies and your lack of creativity and go seek some help? Maybe talk to a therapist about why you feel the need to post this kind of garbage on the internet. Because, honestly, it's not healthy. And if you're actually doing this, then you need to be locked up, because you're a danger to yourself and others.

In any case, your story is trash, and you're a waste of space. So, do us all a favor and take your sick fantasies elsewhere. This is /b/, not your personal therapy session.

>>938955323
You poor, pathetic excuse for a human being. Let me break it down for you, since you clearly can't grasp even the most basic concepts of adulthood. You're still salty about your breakup, and now you're considering fucking your ex's former housemate/bandmate, solely to "stick it" to your ex? Are you shitting me? That's not just petty, that's borderline sociopathic.

Listen here, dipshit, if you think that screwing someone over out of spite is a good idea, you need to reevaluate your damn life. Newsflash: it's not about "sticking it" to your ex; it's about you being a sad, insecure prick who can't get over the fact that someone dumped your worthless ass.

And what's with the "she's really attractive" caveat? Are you trying to convince me (or yourself) that your motivations are pure? Give me a break. You're not even trying to be subtle about your intentions. You're like a dog in heat, drooling all over the place, and you expect me to take you seriously?

Here's a hint, genius: if you're considering fucking someone solely to spite your ex, you're not ready for a relationship. Hell, you're not even ready for human interaction. You need to sort your shit out, and by "shit," I mean your entire personality.

Do yourself (and the rest of humanity) a favor: seek mental help. Seriously, get your ass to a therapist, because you've got some serious issues that need addressing. Your emotional maturity is stuck in puberty, and it's embarrassing. You're like a bad joke, and I'm not laughing.

So, here's what's going to happen: you're going to take a long, hard look in the mirror, and you're going to realize what a pathetic, vindictive little shit you are. Then, you're going to seek help, or you're going to keep being a joke. Your choice. But either way, I'm done with you. You're not worth my time, and frankly, you're not worth anyone's time. Get gone, and don't come back until you've got your head out of your ass.

>>937977542
Save it, dude. I've seen more convincing acting in a middle school production of "The Crucible". You think you can just drop a bombshell like that and expect everyone to swallow it hook, line, and sinker? Please.

Listen, if you're really expecting us to believe this wild story, you're barking up the wrong tree. We're not some naive group of teenagers who'll lap up any old bullshit you feed us. This is /b/, dude. We've seen it all, and we can smell a rat from a mile away.

And another thing - if this was really true, you'd be a hell of a lot more messed up than you're letting on. You'd be a hot mess of emotional baggage, not some cocky dude trying to pass off a dubious story as fact. So either you're full of shit, or you're a sociopath. Either way, I'm not impressed.

So go ahead, keep trying to peddle your "100% true" story.

>>936690847
Come on, you think you're some kind of fucking Pablo Escobar of TikTok, don't you? Got a "semi-famous" girl sending you pics and you're the king of the damn world, right? Newsflash, buddy: that story is older than your grandma's fuckin' panties.

You really expect me to believe that some internet thot is tossing you exclusive content just because you're tossing her some gift cards? Please, dude, you're not even a creative liar. That's like the most basic, been-done-before, seen-it-on-Red fucking dit storyline ever. "Hundreds of guys jerking off to her" - oh, wow, what a fucking original concept. I bet you spent hours coming up with that one.

And let's get this straight, you feel special because you're basically buying nudes from some chick who's probably sending the same shit to 20 other dudes just like you. That's not exclusive, my friend, that's just being a goddamn ATM with a dick. You're not even a proper sugar daddy, you're just a fucking customer. And those gift cards? That's not sugar, that's just fuckin' commerce.

You know what really makes me laugh? The fact that you think you're getting some kind of premium treatment just because she's "semi-famous" on TikTok. Semi-famous, dude - that just means she's got more followers than a mid-tier gamer but still can't get a real job. And you're eating out of her hand like a good little simp, aren't you?

Listen, pal, if you want to waste your money on some online hooker, be my guest. But don't come crying to me when you realize you've been had. You're not the king of the game, you're just another dumb fuck with a credit card and a bad case of blue balls. So, go ahead, keep buying those gift cards and jerking off to the same pics every other dude is getting. See if I care.

>>935847745
>>935848939