Let’s hear what fucked up shit you hide in your past.

I let my cousin give me a handjob when I was in the 8th grade and she was in the 5th grade

women scare me

Fingered a 9yo girl in a movie theater

Little girls are cheap in the 3rd world

>>937962902 (OP)
I showered with a 52 year old man yesterday

>>937962902 (OP)
I keep hoping that my wife will leave me so that I can try the gay lifestyle

>>937962902 (OP)
I have sex with men.
Not gay, just too ugly to attract a woman.

Used my mom's Victoria's Secret panties to fap

>>937962931
Well, yeah. They should scare you. Women are fucking dangerous

My gf and I bought my niece a vibrator as a gift for her 11th bday

>>937962902 (OP)
I was phone

I want my wife to fuck another man and fall in love with him and leave me. She moves him into the house and he takes over as the alpha male. Even my little boy starts calling him daddy, which my cock leak precum every time. On a sunday morning I go into our old marital bedroom and my wife is in bed with him stroking his chest lovingly. He is groaning with pleasure and I notice a lump and movement under the duvet where his crotch is. I slowly pull back the covers and see that he has my little boy under there sucking his cock. I'm rooted to the spot, my cock is rock hard as I just stand there watching as he starts to pump his little mouth full of cum, and my wife leans over to kiss her new man passionately on the lips. I can't even masturbate to women anymore. I only jerk off to videos of men cumming, imagining they're cumming in my toddler mouth. I want to see my beautiful little boy with a big hairy cock in his mouth.

>>937964264
My instincts tell me life shouldn’t be so horrible

I like taking creep shots of my friends gfs

>>937964342
Why do you faggots say this shit all the time? No one wants to hear about your cock leaking precum, but you think it's fucking hot or something? It's not.

>>937964446
Lol you read that shit?

when I was a child I relentlessly bullied one of my peers. It got pretty bad. His mom deliberately found me alone and threatened me, kind of bad.
Then around 2 years later I started flirting with him, grab his ass when no one else was around, blow kisses at him. He reacted negatively every time.
Then one day he found me and immediately kissed me on the cheek and that was the start of us fooling around for the rest of the year before we went to different schools.
tl;dr: I sexually harassed my former bully target until he gave in to the gay thoughts

The vibrator I got my girl for valentines 2 years ago? Bought it, went and used it on another girl but didn’t clean it, put it back in the box and gave it to her. She cheated on me years ago and I said I forgave her but honestly I just do shit like that all the time now. It’s more than cheating honestly it’s just humiliating her constantly but she never knows. I want to find the most fucked depraved sexual shit I can do to her without her actually knowing.

>>937964385
Life isn't horrible, just avoid bad stuff

>>937964135
I used to cum on my mom's toys and leave it so I could get my sperm in her pussy. Came in her food a few times too but never got to watch her eat it

>>937964614
like alcohol?

>>937964672
Do you know when she uses her toys?

>>937964761
Yeah, that would be for the best. Can't say I'm capable of avoiding that one. Booze is my oldest love. Women are just easier to avoid than booze (at least for me)

>>937964672
Had a super hot friend I used to dog sit for, made that dog eat my asshole and eat so much of my cum just to watch him lick her face as soon as she picked her up

I'm probably mentally ill or something but I always crave men who I'm supposed to hate. Leads to a lot of weird stuff.

>>937963325
elaborate?

>>937965185
homosexuality is a symptom of mental illness, its expected you will exhibit other symptoms

Early in our marrige, my would not stop talking to her ex despite whatever I said. (Whole back story, she was engaged to him, then I stepped in. She still had shit tons of unprocessed feelings. She did cheat on me at one time). Didn't leave cause we had a kid and I know what its like to be in that situation. I eventually got fed up of the shit. Installed a keylogger. Got all the creds, read though the messages (wasn't anything of concern, but he was really trying to get her over to his place, but she kept denying), then created a duplicate account with his name, blocked the original and used that to chat with her. Then sent a bunch of shit. Along the lines of "I need to let go and start moving on" "the more I think about it, the more I realize it won't work. Especially considering you had his kid" "please block me. I need it" ect. Eventually she gave in, said her good byes and blocked "him". Ever since then, our relationship has never been better. We even went on to have another kid.

>>937963094

>>937965250

>>937964270
Hot

>>937965225
I'm not gay

>>937963094
Did she like it?

>>937965346
liking men is gay, anon.

>>937965218
Can get a whole night of fun with extremely taboo-aged girls for relatively cheap

i was big DBZ fan as a kid. one time i played with my sister in our garden. she´s four years older then me. I asked if we could play DragonBall. She was C18 (fucking loved that bitch) and I was Muten Roshi. Basically she would bend over and tried to jump on her and hump her ass. because she was taller than me. I think she was really into it. Great Memorie

Pls keep going. love these deprived stories

My biggest fantasy is to fuck a grandma, like an elderly woman at least 70. The older the better, but I can’t figure out how to do that in a way that isn’t basically rape. Any ideas? Attractive in my late 20s but stumped on that one lol

>>937965492
Asia? Africa? How dangerous is this because its sounds like a lot of fun

>>937965350
She was pretty nervous at first, was her first time, but once she relaxed she really enjoyed it. Had a finger inside her during almost the whole movie

>>937965244
that sounds a healthy and fulfilling relationship for you knowing shes raising your kids because you had to fake her attachment to you <3

>>937965619
Hang out at a bingo hall or knitting club?

it always drives me really horny to see that

>>937964922
I know she used/uses them often, but I wasnt able to pinpoint exact times or anything like that

>>937965619
go to local watering hole. horny old hags everywhere

>>937965722
It was far from healthy in the beginning. But that was damn near 15 years ago. Once she realized he was ready to move on, although he wasn't, she was ready to commit fully to our relationship. We even had another kid. Shes laying on the bed next to me with her ass hanging out. We stayed up until 630 watching anime and fucking. Might treat her and our kids to something today. Boba sounds nice

>>937965619
I work with an Indonesian woman in her 70s. I want to fuck her so bad, and she told me about how her husband had a mistress for forever and made her get new car so he could pick up his mistress in style. Next time she mentions that I'm just going to ask if she wants to get even with him. We would have ample opportunity to fuck at work

>>937965757
Second the bingo haul. Maybe find one you like sitting alone and ask for help. Libraries are also good places

>>937965663
Central/Latin America. It's easy and safe with the right connections. It's soo much fun

There is something elegant and graceful about the shape of a toilet bowl. Even though it is heavy and massive, and stands firm as a rock on the bathroom floor. The grace comes from the fact that the toilet bowl is narrow at the bottom of the base and gradually flares out towards the top, so that it seems - if not to defy gravity, then at least to work against it.

>>937962902 (OP)
When I was in middle school, I'd come home and boot up my Nintendo Wii and look up porn on the internet browser and shoot loads all over my old CRT.

For whatever reason I would sling my cum onto the TV and leave it there, I would do this repeatedly over and and over until the Screen itself was a nasty ass mustard yellow. I eventually stopped doing it when my brother one day asked why my TV was so dirty.

Leaving a concert downtown and was in a parking garage stairwell, found blonde girl too trashed to move, and I was dumb horny at the time so I jerked off onto her while I touched her

>>937965813
You'd probably cum buckets if you heard her using her toy soon after you wiped your cum all over it

I usually didn't cum in my mom's panties because it'd be way too obvious (younger me didn't do the laundry, so I couldn't even use that excuse). Usually I'd smear precum in her panties.

One time I played with a fresh pair and returned them to the hamper. I knew on occasion she'd grab a pair she tossed in there before showering and wear it again afterwards. The first time I managed to play with her panties and return them while she showered... I saw that she took it back out... had me so hard thinking about my cum pressed against her pussy.

I am Spartacus

>>937964522
Did he ever ask you why you flirted with him particularly?

How far did thing progress with him?

The first time I jizzed was when an older boy I lived near got his little sis to play with my dick in exchange for trading him a shiny skarmory.

bump

When I was a teen back in the mid 1990's I had a friend in high school. One weekend I stayed at his parents house and his mom and dad left to go to Oregon to meet his dad's family for the weekend since they left on a Friday night. The next day I was there with him and his sister we were all the same age at that time. Long story short I saw him fuck her.

>>937963094
I once came in a 5 year olds pussy

>>937969038
Fuuuckk yes

>>937967738
no, I'm Spartacus!

At a anime con I titfucked and then later on fucked a fat girl cosplaying as Rangiku. She was fat girl that was almost a SSBBW and we didn't fuck at a hotel, but in her car a few blocks away from the convention in some parking lot next to a alleyway and I now almost everytime there is a Ford crown victoria on the road I am reminded of that day and the way her ass was jiggling as I fucked her in her ass and the creaking sound her car was making as it was taking on the weight of us. Me a skinny spic (not mexican or meximutt) and her a fat white girl with blonde hair and either C or D sized tits.

Every hotel room I’ve been in by myself for the past several years, right before I leave I cum in the coffee maker so the next person to drink coffee drinks my cum also

>>937969038
Was heaven

My brother is raising my kid, and the DNA is so close that he doesn't think he isn't his.

On the plus side, his wife is a really good fuck.

I'm outwardly straight but have been meeting up with mostly much older guys to get my dick sucked since i was 15. Used to use yahoo, then craigslist, and have visited a specific cruising spot not far from my house.
i got addicted to how easy it was, how older guys would trip over themselves to get in my pants, and how little effort it took compared to getting girls.

>>937969936
Share more. Always fantasized about doing this if the opportunity was right. Like starting out with some NyQuil and having some fun.

i jerk off to the idea of stabbing my friends(mostly girls but sometimes guys too) in the gut, i don't know why i have this specific kink/fetish but the idea of stabbing a blade into their bare stomach and watching their reaction and slowly fade away by my hands is insanely hot to me
does anyone have these same thoughts or is anyone curious? i can chat about it, reply to this if you want my socials or something i just wanna like talk about this with someone haha

>>937962902 (OP)
I use to shit in my shower when I was in middle school, one time I didn't stomp all the shit down properly and so the shit was all over the bathtub, I told my parents that it was probably my sisters boyfriend. I also lost my wallet one time in my couch and blamed my aunts boyfriend for stealing it, only to later find it and just spend the money and throw the wallet away to get rid of the evidence. Its the only secrets I have sadly.

It will sound ridiculous but myself and two other friends all fucked a particular friend's mom years ago. To this day he has no idea.
Felt like a stud at the time but honestly feel guilty about it now so i dont think about it often on purpose. He's a really good person and if he found out, especially after all this time, it would really upset him.
The other two guys mostly drifted away, both physically and socially, but i still worry one of them will pop up out of the woodwork and tell him.

>>937962902 (OP)
I had sex with my sisters Wife. She was drunk i was drunk and one thing lead to another and i wound up fucking her over the weekend. My sister still to this day has no clue and i feel bad but know if this was to ever get back to her, she would not only divorce her wife of 13 years but she disown me. So me and Alisa have decided to never speak of it and basically pretend it never happened .. Witch so far is going well as that was 5 years ago.. still bothers me tho..

I know a pdf who works at a middle school

bump

>>937970832
i know one too.

A buddy fucked an english teacher at our high school a few years ago. So far as I know i'm the only one he's ever told.
She was/is smoking hot and married, and i fantasize often about using the info to blackmail her into doing stuff. 100% doubt i'd ever be brave or degenerate enough to do that but i still imagine it.

>>937962902 (OP)
I'm a 25 year old kissless virgin. The closest I've ever come to feeling the touch of a woman was with my cousin during a weird, messed-up period in my life.

This was a few years back. I was 22, she was 19. She came to stay with us for a while after some big family gathering, my mom was helping her get into uni. She was kind of a NEET like me. Quiet, into anime and the usual stuff. We ended up spending a lot of time together, watching shows, movies, just hanging out in my room. She got really physically clingy with me over time. Would lean into me while watching TV, cling to my arm when we were out shopping with my mom, even just hang around my room while I was on my PC.

At that point in my life I hadn’t had any kind of female attention since some girl liked me in primary school. So yeah, I gave in. I got bolder. When we cuddled under blankets, I started rubbing her boobs, first over her clothes, then eventually under. I’d pinch and roll her nipple a bit, not even sure what I was doing at the time. That’s literally how I found out women’s nipples get hard when they’re turned on, otherwise I’d have never known.

Eventually I started rubbing my erection against her thighs and letting my hands wander across her stomach, ass, and between her legs. At first I tried to play it off like it was accidental, but over time, it was obvious what I was doing, and even weirder, she started playing into it. She’d tease me, rub her ass on my crotch while we sat together, mount me while I was on my phone and bounce up and down “as a joke,” then mock me for getting hard. When we cuddled, she'd wrap her legs around mine so my thigh would press into her crotch.

It was like this silent game, where neither of us talked about it but we both kept escalating. And honestly, if my mom hadn’t finally helped her move into student housing, something probably would’ve happened. Sex or something close.

1/2

>>937971888
Part of me still kinda wishes we’d gone all the way, as fucked as that sounds, because the sad truth is, outside of her and a girl at work I barely speak to unless she's relaying a message or asking for help, I haven’t had a real, honest, human conversation with a woman since high school. Not a date, not a hug, not even a moment where I felt seen. Just silence. Years of it.

My mom’s the only woman I actually talk to anymore, and even that’s mostly out of necessity. And looking at where I am now, how nothing in my life has moved forward socially, romantically, sexually, I don’t see that changing. I don’t have hope. I don’t have some plan to “fix it.” I just exist in this weird limbo where I’m too isolated to connect and too bitter to try.

2/2

I was 35. Neighbors had a hot tween I wanted. One night, I left a stack of cummed in porn mags on their doorstep with a note on top I wrote saying, "I want your daughter."
A week later, they moved away.

The magazines were stuff like just 18, barely legal, lollypops, candy girls, tight...

>>937972147
Why would you do that? How would that help you get what you wanted?

>>937972341
People with mental issues don't tend to think correctly op. This guy is obviously not stable and did not think correctly.. I just hope he get proper help before he dose some thing stupid or some one ends his life because of a stunt like this..

>>937972341
>>937972618
Was drunk. Did it for keks

>>937972758
Still be careful .. You never know whos unstable and has a firearm. This could have gone so much wronger if he caught you.. So please be careful..

>>937971914
This could've easily been me but I ended doing something about it. Still have social awkwardness that creeps in every so often making me feel like I'm wearing a mask and wondering whether others can see through it. I was a late bloomer, first a bunch of things at 23. Have been in a long-term relationship for a while. We're open relationship. I actually have a fantasy about sharing her with a guy like yourself - hopeless, virgin, etc. but thoughtful. Never shared it with her and not sure she'd be down for it.

>>937972807
It was kind of a close call. They called the cops.
She was a lil hottie

Two of my best friends are married. When I used to live with them I went on his laptop and took all of the nudes and sex videos he had of her. Every time i see her, I go home and wank to her giving him head and fingering her pussy. Stuff is from when she was 19 - 25 and shes in her 30s now with a baby daughter.

>>937973036
I'll take the baby daughter

>>937971168
Are they a guy or girl

>>937973137
Presumably she will grow up to be hot too.

>>937973173
guy, mid 40's

>>937973306
Oh mines a girl, mid 30’s

>>937962902 (OP)
The most jealous I've ever been is after finding out my little sis and her friend had a threesome with a guy I played soccer with. I think about it every time I jerk off.

>>937973376
awesome.

>>937970368
hello? anyone? bump

>>937966572
What did you do to her?

I had to help a 9yo girl shower several times and it was honestly pretty fun getting to touch her entire body

>>937970368
I'm wondering what makes you have such fantasies. They seem fucked up. Any idea what's wrong with you?

My fantasies are to fuck hot girls. And also typical stuff like power, popularity, money and turning myself into a genetically modified coconut

>>937964342

>>937973767
Actually at first I was just making sure she was okay but then I realized she didn’t even know where she was or what was happening and I knew nobody would be coming down the stairs. I didn’t undress her I just got real close to her and pulled her tits out, pulled my dick out and started jerking off close to her body so it didn’t look like anything. She realized about halfway through what was happening and just said no a couple times but I made her look me in the eyes when I came, zipped up and left. I think about it constantly and would definitely do it again

>>937974202
Where'd you cum

>>937974037
Why does a 9yo need help in the shower?

>>937974202
Well who wouldn't heh. A once in a lifetime opportunity

>>937964286
Hi phone

>>937962902 (OP)
After my ex cheated and dumped me but then got back together I started taking creepshots and eventually hidden cam stuff of her sister. Got the wondering eye after she was unfaithful and took all that lust out on jerking to her sister's pics and vids. I feel bad about the whole thing though including that I showed others. Girl didnt deserve that even though my ex was a hoe. Man those were some crazy masterbation sessions.

>>937974336
She couldn't physically do it herself at the time due to injuries

>>937974540
Why were you the one helping her instead of her mother?

I jerk to my cop cousin. Would love to cum on her face while in uniform.

i used to fap to speds having meltdowns and sensory overloads

>>937974628
She was staying with me and my gf, gf usually did but when she was gone I helped her. The first time she asked me to help her I was very apprehensivez I was way more nervous than she was

>>937974774
How through were you?

>>937974774
How inappropriate were you?

>>937972941
And yet, an anonymous stranger on the internet having a fantasy about pity-fucking someone like me is probably the closest I’ve gotten to the idea of intimacy in years. Funny, in a bleak kind of way. Still, your story does give me some kind of hope — not the uplifting, Hollywood kind, but maybe the slow-burn, rock-bottom kind. Like, maybe one day I’ll be so desperate that the crushing weight of my loneliness will finally be heavier than the fear that paralyzes me every time I even think about talking to a woman. Guess we all have our breaking points. Maybe mine just hasn't hit yet.

>>937974865
I didn't skimp on anything

>>937974892
I didn't go out of my way to molest her or anything, I might have slid my soapy hands between her perfect little ass cheeks an extra time or 2

>>937974143
Not too sure what's wrong with me lol, wanna chat somewhere else more about it?

>>937974944
It a self motivation thing is anything. No one can do it for you. At the end of the day, we all have one life and it's up to us what we want out of it.

>>937975052
Did you get to wash inside too?

bump

>>937968017
No, I was expecting him to but he never did.
We'd make out a lot. Eventually started touching each other but it died before it went any further.

I often think about my neighbors daughter

When I was 16 I made out with an 8yo girl quite a few times

>>937976291
How often?
Did it ever go more than that?

>>937976184
How old is she? How old are you?

>>937976523
30/12

>>937976523
12:30

>>937962902 (OP)

I haven't an hero yet after having attended my 20yr class reunion, because I'm a total faggot loser

I'm 29 f. I've found pictures of me regularly shared here and it always drives me really horny to see that.

I'm working on being sluttier

Little girls are little girls in the 3rd world

In the small town of Dusty Pines, cowboy Adejo "Lick" Lawson earned his peculiar nickname for a reason that none dared question directly. Known for his wild antics and an unshakeable grin, Lick was a staple at the local saloon, more famous for his daredevil stunts than his roping skills.

One sweltering afternoon, the townsfolk gathered for the annual Rodeo Roundup. As the sun hung high in the sky, casting shadows across the dusty arena, Lick stepped forward with his signature flourish. Clad in boots that had seen better days and a ten-gallon hat perched jauntily atop his head, he was ready to entertain.

“Step right up!” he called, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Who’s brave enough to take on the Lick Challenge?” Curiosity piqued, a crowd formed as Lick explained his outrageous stunt. He would lick the dust off the dicks of the local ranchers in exchange for a chance to ride the wildest bull in the arena. Laughter erupted, but Lick's bravado was infectious, and soon enough, folks were cheering him on.

With each dick he licked clean, Lick’s reputation only grew. The ranchers laughed, flicking him a dime or two, enjoying the show. Finally, it was time for the real spectacle. Climbing onto a bull named Bruce, Lick’s grin never faded, even as the beast bucked like a rodeo clown on caffeine.

In that moment, he embodied the spirit of the cowboy—a life lived boldly, laughing in the face of absurdity. Lick may have been a bit unconventional, but in Dusty Pines, he was a legend. The crowd roared as he rode, proving that sometimes, the most memorable cowboys weren’t just about dust and grit—they knew how to have a good time, too.

>>937976922
We should talk

>>937976405
Fairly often, she was my sister's best friend so she was at our house a lot, we would almost always find time, even if briefly. She let me rub my hands all over her body and loved having her ass massaged. She also let me play with her nipples

>>937977013

>>937977022

>>937962902 (OP)
I had a first cousin who's family moved back to our town when I was 11 (she was the same age). We hung out a lot that summer being the only kids in the area that was our age. She got handsy real fast. I think within a couple days we had our hands down each other's pants, I was feeling up her mosquito bites, and eventually she was sucking me off.
Come to find out her dad had been fucking around with her too and grooming her. Eventually one day we were at her house and he caught us and came up with the idea to film her and I doing stuff. He had been making vhs tapes of her and her and him and selling them to other pedos.
We ended up doing this fairly frequently. He'd tell us what to do. It wasn't long before I was straight up fucking her. I think he knew I was a little perv even at that age because he didn't have to work hard to keep me from telling anyone and risk not being able to fuck her anymore. He never did anything to me, but there were times he'd get so turned on he'd stop filming, tell me to go take a break and "play nintendo in the living room" as he would go to town on her. She'd clean up and we'd go back to him recording us. Her and I also frequently screwed around outside of this too.
This went on until I was maybe 12-13? At that point I think he was worried I'd knock her up and he found out she'd rather fuck me than him. They moved shortly after. Eventually he got her prego and their whole family imploded.
I still don't feel that bad about never telling anyone. I got to be balls deep in pussy pretty much whenever I wanted while my friends were just starting to want girls but had zero outlet.
This was well before vids on the internet, but I suppose it's not impossible there's still some of them VHS tapes out there of her and I. Maybe even someone digitized them.
Hell this isn't even the only fucked up sex thing I did as a kid.

>>937977391
Holy shit, dude, that's quite a tale you've spun. I'm not buying it for a second, though. This sounds like some cliché, edgy fanfiction written by a 13-year-old who just discovered the internet.

First off, the whole "my cousin and I started banging at 11" thing? That's not just statistically unlikely, it's also a pretty common trope in shitty erotic novels. And the part where her dad is a pedophile who's been making and selling tapes of them? That's like something out of a bad Law & Order episode.

And let's not forget the fact that you're trying to pass off this absurd story as true on a board where people are actually sharing their real experiences and getting support. That's some next-level trolling, dude.

I'm not going to mince words here - if you're actually believing this crap, you need to seek some serious mental help. This isn't just a harmless LARP; it's a twisted fantasy that's probably a symptom of some deeper issues. And if you're just trolling, well, congratulations, you've managed to be both boring and repellent at the same time.

Either way, get some help, dude. Or at the very least, try to come up with something a bit more original if you're going to LARP. This story is older than the internet itself.

>>937977451
Eh, believe it or don't. No LARP here friend.

True, I have zero way to prove this, but it is 100% true.

>>937977542
Save it, dude. I've seen more convincing acting in a middle school production of "The Crucible". You think you can just drop a bombshell like that and expect everyone to swallow it hook, line, and sinker? Please.

Listen, if you're really expecting us to believe this wild story, you're barking up the wrong tree. We're not some naive group of teenagers who'll lap up any old bullshit you feed us. This is /b/, dude. We've seen it all, and we can smell a rat from a mile away.

And another thing - if this was really true, you'd be a hell of a lot more messed up than you're letting on. You'd be a hot mess of emotional baggage, not some cocky dude trying to pass off a dubious story as fact. So either you're full of shit, or you're a sociopath. Either way, I'm not impressed.

So go ahead, keep trying to peddle your "100% true" story.

>>937977604
>>you'd be a hell of a lot more messed up than you're letting on.
Never said I wasn't.

>>937977710

How interesting that we go almost 3 days with no larp threads and then the secret thread and a rapunzel incest thread pop up on the same day. I'm sure it's a coincidence

>>937978505

My wife has an identical twin sister and I am in love with both of them. The sister lived with us for a bit shortly after we got married. I always thought she was attractive but when she lived with me I fell in love with her just like my wife. They have very similar personalities. I have a close relationship with the sister and we flirt a bit but she won't cross that line and hurt her sister.

It is actually a living hell being in love with a woman that you cant have and are forced to have interactions with constantly and hear about the new guys she is fucking.

I am in torment constantly/

>>937978869
Holy fuck, what a load of crap. You think you're some kind of tragic hero, stuck in a love triangle with identical twin sisters? Give me a break. This is the most cliché, tries-too-hard-to-be-edgy,.............................................

Are you kidding me with this? You're like a bad writer trying to come up with a soap opera plot. "Oh, woe is me, I'm in love with my wife and her identical twin sister, but the sister won't cross that line because she's so noble and shit." Boo-fucking-hoo.

And what's with the "living hell" nonsense? You're not in torment, you're just a sad fuck who can't get laid by the sister-in-law. And newsflash, dipshit: if you're really friends with her, you wouldn't be spending all your time thinking about how much you want to bang her. You'd be, I don't know, actually being a decent human being and respecting boundaries.

And please, spare me the "I'm forced to hear about the new guys she's fucking" sob story. You're not forced to do anything, you're just a voyeuristic creep who can't get enough of other people's business. If you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen, fucking amateur.

Listen up, because I'm only going to say this once: if you're really having this much trouble dealing with your emotions, maybe you should seek some actual help instead of posting this drivel on /b/. Like, go see a therapist or something, because this isn't a confessional, it's a shitposting board. And your story is about as believable as a kindergartener's drawing of a dragon. Get a grip, dude.