>"Okay so real talk: I'm some kind of wilding baddie butler now? Like I'm the Renfield to your Batman, is that it?"
>"I think you're getting your metaphors mixed up but yeah, that about sums it up"
>"Well shit, at least it's better than having student debt, I guess"
>audience laugh track
>"Oh no trust me you don't get rid of that, I've been paying mine off for 800 years"
>audience laugh track
>"Wait up, what did you say your name was again?"
>"Phyre"
>"You're a vampire... named Phyre...?"
>"Hey, I'm currently the biggest walking target in the vampire underworld and I'm just trying to live my best unlife one day at a time, I don't have time to be creative"
>audience laugh track
>"Fair point, noted. So like, if I'm your ghoul, do I get a sick name too? If you're Phyre, can I be Flash?"
>"Why Flash?"
>"You know, Flash-phyre? Flashfire?"
>"You really want to be named after something that usually happens in greasy restaurant kitchens? Might as well call yourself Salmonella"
>audience laugh track
>"Alright but I'm still getting a cool name. This is a thing now, we've got to hash this out"
>"Y'know, I'm REALLY starting to regret I ghouled you..."