Very close. Did what everyone tells you to do as someone who's been passively suicidal and had 2 attempts across 12yrs.
Buffed up from the gym, saved up 20k GBP, currently work as a firefighter but feel the exact same about life as I did when I was a severely underweight useless NEET.

I just don't know a good method. If I was able to get my hands on a gun or cyanide pill, I'd be gone already. I just have zero ambitions or interest in anything and have always just been around because you have to be. I don't care about anything. I'm really hoping before the end of the year I can kill myself. It's the most aggravating thing where people cannot understand that you might just not want to be alive, even if things are "going well".

If I knew who or where to go to, I'd easily buy a pill for like 5k and go off into a national park and take it.