>>33452622

It is just the midwit curse. I have created for myself a sheppard's tone world in which I have to fight back at everything and have an answer. Average intelligence people just are, and whatever faults they might have they more often than not just live with, while the geniuses do not even concern themselves with such matters and instead reach for the stars. And here I am, smart and aware enough to recognize my shortcomings and flaws, but not wise or willing enough to enact the changes necessary to skew them. Dummies and Geniuses know what the Midwit doesn't. Art is meant to enrich life, right? The dummy knows this, the genius knows this. It is the midwit that goes on in deforming loops about it and creates abstract art and noise music.

And nobody has the answer. I don't have it. You don't have it. A quantum super-computer wouldn't have it. Maybe because there is no answer. Maybe because only I do, but are unwilling to do what it takes. I cannot take it anymore. The absurdity of it all. The futility. There was never anything but punishment of my own creation for trying to be better. I never got along with people. I never valued what they did. I never invested myself into their matters. Because I didn't care to. One could then posit there isn't much to life at all.