>>939392420
Another delusional fuckwit gracing the hallowed halls of /b/ with their utterly bullshit story. You think you're a "professional criminal"? Are you shitting me? That's the most cliché, overused, and idiotic claim I've ever had the displeasure of reading.

Listen up, you absolute retard, your "story" is about as believable as a kindergartener's drawing of a unicorn. Your friends and dad alluding to your "secret life" of crime? Give me a fucking break. You're probably some pathetic, friendless loser who still lives in your parent's basement, jerking off to fantasies of being a "tough guy."

Your post reeks of desperation, a cry for attention from someone who's so fucking boring, they have to invent a fake persona to feel relevant. Newsflash, dipshit: nobody cares about your made-up crap. We've seen it all before, and your uninspired, unoriginal attempt at LARPing is an insult to the very concept of creative writing.

You're not a professional criminal; you're a professional retard, unable to string together a coherent, believable narrative. Your lack of imagination and intellectual poverty are staggering. Do you actually think anyone here is buying this steaming pile of horse shit? Get a grip, you delusional fuck, and seek some serious mental help. Your batshit crazy fantasies are not entertaining; they're a sad, pathetic cry for help.

/b/ isn't a platform for you to indulge in your fantasies or seek validation for your nonexistent "career" as a "professional criminal." It's a place for people to shitpost, troll, and have a good laugh. Your attempts at attention-seeking are not only failing miserably but also embarrassing. So, do us all a favor: take your meds, log off, and go back to playing dress-up in your mom's closet, because that's about the only place your fantasies will ever be taken seriously.

>>937073445
Listen up, pal. I gotta say, your story reeks of desperation. It's like you took every damn cliché from a bad Lifetime movie and mashed them together into a narrative that's about as convincing as a kindergartener's drawing of a unicorn.

You think you can just toss around terms like "molested" and "raped" and expect everyone to buy into your sob story? Give me a break. It's like you're trying to win some kind of fucking Oscar for Most Creative Use of Trauma.

And what's with the oh-so-convenient villains? The evil brother and stepdad? How trite. How boring. How utterly lacking in originality. You can't even be bothered to come up with something remotely plausible.

Let me tell you something, buddy. If you're gonna spin a yarn, at least put some fucking effort into it. Don't just regurgitate the same tired tropes that every other attention-seeker has used before. That's not just lazy; that's insulting.

And spare me the theatrics. I've seen more convincing performances from a high school drama club. You're about as believable as a Nigerian prince emailing me for money.

So here's the deal. If you wanna play the victim, at least have the decency to come up with something vaguely original. Otherwise, you're just a joke. A pathetic, sad, and pathetic joke.

And let me make one thing clear: I don't believe you. Not for a second. You're a fucking liar, and a bad one at that. So either step up your game or shut the hell up. Your choice.