>be satan
>an ancient evil as old as time
>a third of the angels at your command
>you understand human nature to such an intimate degree that you have an incomprehensibly complex plan unique for every human being who will ever live, involving innumerable steps to drag them into hell
>use your angelic intellect to manipulate men's passions
>orchestrate countless wars and conflicts among the nations of men
>you devise heresies leaving those not thoroughly equipped in theological education astray, damning billions
>20th century comes by
>start getting bored and think you're trying too hard
>start suggesting to people that they aren't men and they should cut their dick off and get fucked in the ass
>millions of people actually buy it
>lmfao

Couldn't imagine being such a worthless joke that my existence which culminated in eternal damnation was because Satan wanted a good laugh.