>Think about how I want to be a woman and should probably transition
>Immediately get bombarded by thoughts about how great it is to be a man, and how I'll miss out on being a handsome and suave chad. Also think about how horrible I'd be at being a woman, and how it's not worth losing the utilitarian benefits of T like strength and higher base metabolic rate.
>Become convinced that I love being a man, and I'm determined in living my best life as a man
>Slow buildup of obsessive trans thoughts about how I'm actively losing any androgyny because of testosterone and that I will greatly regret it later on if I don't act asap. Seeing women my age makes me want to flay myself and can't stop focusing on how I'll never remotely resemble a woman

It genuinely feels like I'm gaslighting myself both ways, and I can't tell which thoughts and feelings are trustworthy. Doesn't help that I never had any tranny thoughts or anything resembling dysphoria before my 20s, and that looking at my male body also doesn't make me dysphoric at all.

Which lolg has the biggest cock?