>>214075760
>Be me
>Get summons for jury duty
>I was just in the same courthouse not 2 months earlier
>Walked into my gf's house to find her fat dyke roommate walking around naked
>She calls the cops on me and says I broke in (I had a key)
>Took diversion because I didn't want to risk a trial and public defender recommended it
>Anyway, I go back to courthouse to deal with faggot jury summons
>I absolutely do not want to be there
>Mention that I could be biased to let the guy go no matter what because I'm currently pissed off at the justice system
>Prosecutor says I was arrested by city cops and this was a county matter blah blah blah so there's no reason I should be upset
>My jimmies are still very rustled by the experience but they don't dismiss me
>It's a domestic violence case
>Want to get out of it because I don't want to miss work
>Think to myself "what would /pol/ do?"
>Guy on trial is white
>Hmm being racist isn't going to do it
>Decide I'm going to play the most staunchly libertarian character I can
>Jury selection comes up
>I'm the youngest one, most of my fellow jurors are boomer retirees that are genuinely excited to be there
>Lawyers start asking questions to weed us out
>Frigid bitch prosecutor asks "Show of hands, if you heard your neighbor beating his wife, would you call the police?"
>Everyone raises their hands except me
>"Sir, you wouldn't call the police?"
>Pretend I have a dip of chewing tobacco in my lower lip and start talking like Boomhauer
>"Hey man, whatever happens on your property, that's your dang ol' business, man, talkin' bout... dang ol' invisible wall right there, know what I'm sayin'?"
>Prosecutor looks at the defense attorney in disbelief
>Defense starts laughing
>Gives her this look like "Don't know why you're staring at me, cunt. I love this fuckin' guy."
>Prosecutor mutters something and strikes me herself
>Judge chuckles, says I'm free to leave and gives me a look like "well played"
>tfw I have become ungovernable
Thanks /pol/
