Just a stupid realization I had. "Shrekking" is supposed to be dating a bit uglier because you're worried that a more attractive person has more power over you, higher maintenance, but the implication is that you think you should have power over this uglier person.

Relationships are at their worst when power is the primary concern, though. It's supposed to be about fun, enjoying the person you're with, and I think the fact that there's a rot at this level indicates a rot at a greater level, in which things have gone beyond "I pay you, you do the thing for me." It's shifted towards more towards a lunatic aristocracy. "I have more money, so you work for me indefinitely, and you'll do what I say on the clock AND off the clock, and you'll sacrifice everything so I can live above petty concerns like early mortality or conventional sexual morality."