Thread 33897430

You don't have to carry that weight.

>>33897430 (OP)
I can't believe they knew it was me the whole time.

>>33897430 (OP)
I've stopped pretending to care, I'm just too frustrated and tired. No life is left in my soul and I'm a walking corpse at this point. The soothing waves at the bottom of the cliff await to comfort my shattered disfigured body or the bottle of vodka sitting in my kitchen to give me the false sense of life. Maybe both.

feeling bretty gud about me and not beating myself over things I can't control, just gonna enjoy the ridee

>>33897452
how romantic

>>33897452
Hey I have some vodka in my kitchen too. We're like, the same, man.

I wish you didn’t believe that bullshit psychic reading. He doesn’t want to offer you an opportunity he just wants you for himself because he’s vulnerable

My coworkers are funny. Every single one of them scams company time and works like shit.

it's over.

>>33897433
What do you mean?

Less than three

>>33897530
<3456789012

>>33897488
Not as romantic as when my older sister and I fucked and she made me experience love for the first time in my life. That is, before she chained me up like a dog and completely shattered me mentally as if it was nothing.
>>33897493
Pour one out for me, buddy. Let's party.

>>33897562
I can't. I have work and responsibilities in the morning.

>>33897562
sexy... say more

>>33897523
They know I post here. I'm sure of it.

>>33897624
Who are you talking about? Who's "They?"

>>33897430 (OP)
I wish I’d never had sex, because now I know what I’m missing. I want a partner I can come home to, not just an anonymous fuck from a bar. I also haven’t gotten over my ex. It’s getting old. I’m getting old.

Big ass wall of text

My mom will ask me for help and when I agree she'll string on a bunch of other shit that she didn't tell me about.

>Mom asks me to help her clean a property we own
>I'm more than happy to help
>The moment I agree she immediately asks me to start hauling wood and scrap metal to the dump

She'll do this with time too like she'll say we're going to be out doing something for two hours and then we're out there for the entire day when I already had plans for that day. This "tactic" she tries really pisses me off, she'll come home from the grocery store or something and get me something I like but the moment I eat it she'll start asking me to do things and if I'm unable to do it she'll go "But I got you your favorite, Anon!"

I'm always happy to help her in whatever way I can but she seems to think that I don't want to help her and she'll do shit like this to me and it's really hurtful that she thinks that about me. If she had just said that she wanted to haul the shit I would've been happy but the fact she added it on afterwards just didn't make me feel good.

I've confronted her about it and she immediately starts playing victim and says that I'm calling her "Stupid fucking idiot" and that I'm lazy and then she'll get my dad involved and he gets pissed at me.

It's very hurtful honestly

>>33897635
She knows who she is. I will not explain.

>>33897642
Okay.

>>33897430 (OP)
You’re not gonna hit, dude. You’re a weird liar who always has to look good for other people. You overemphasize your accomplishments and despite your wealth and better chances in life, we’re in the same place, aren’t we? Nobody likes you because you’re an ass. I didn’t see it at first, but you make fun of me. You say all kinds of weird shit. And you don’t even have the balls to just say you want to fuck. I would blame the MeToo movement for that a little, but jesus dude.

>>33897580
So do I but I guess you can pour your favorite soda out in spirit.
>>33897615
I am constantly forced to be with her and I want to slice open my arm in front of her and our boss with a box cutter knife while I scream at the top of my lungs.

WHAT DO I DO DURING SERVER DOWNTIME AAA

>>33897659
What the actual fuck

>>33897659
Anon, I will tell you right here and right now you are not in your right mind and you need to have a nap and maybe a hot tea once you wake up.

It's ok. It's going to be ok. You need to be strong. Just get through this. You've managed it before, you can manage it again. You can do it.

i've been crying for three days and you don't reach out
I hope you're happy
sure I attacked your insecurity when I was mad but you attacked mine as a joke in front of your friends
why would you tell me you loved me when you're not going to try for me at all

>>33897704
Maybe they love but don't know HOW to love correctly.

>>33897708
They just need to try. That's all it takes

>>33897721
Easier said than done.

>>33897724
they're doing it
for someone else

>>33897730
I'm sorry about that. Have you tried talking to them about it?

>>33897724
Stop with your retardation. Just do it. Or fuck off and stop chasing me around the board. You act like I'm a nuisance but you do it 20 times worse with your larping

>>33897679
I know but sleep doesn't fix it. I've been tormented for past 4 months and I feel like I'm going to break very soon - whether that's suicide or an extreme outburst. I just can't handle it anymore. I should admit myself to a psychiatric ward some time this week.

>>33897737
Mike, you're not her, bro. I am a guy. You've made it clear you're not the Mikey I know.

>>33897744
What is the first and last letter of your Mike's name

>>33897748
She's a girl. And I only know her nickname.

>>33897732
yes
they say they can't try for me
i lashed out and said some things I regretted
attacked their insecurities etc.
they got reasonably upset and cut me off entirely
I changed my plans to move to the same town as them
how can I move to a place where the only person I know is someone who won't try for me at all?
now we are no contact and I'm bawling and they don't care and don't reach out
the life we had planned together means nothing
they won't try
they can't try
someone else is more important
I'm not their person
I don't think I was ever their person
I was just a person who allowed them to get what they wanted at that time
they said they care about me and they hope the best for my future
how can it be the best when you're not there you idiot

>>33897760
That's a glimpse into the future for him. Do you see how it's hard to be with someone who would hurt him so?

>>33897752
I don't see how Mike is a girl. What's the nickname

>>33897781
Mike can be a girl's name too, bud. You already said you're not a girl, why are you pressing this so hard?

>>33897784
I don't feel you're being honest. If I pull the string I know

>>33897800
I'm a fucking guy, Mike. I'm not the girl from Discord that you post. I'm a completely different person.

>>33897806
Masks are easy to put on and ftm could be a thing, but that could just be something being pushed to assume

>>33897816
You're pushing this way too hard. I already got my answer from my Mike. I am a Cisgendered male, dude.

>>33897775
I don't think I was the one causing pain until that point when they had already given up. I was willing to do anything to appease them. I knew I couldn't be the only person for them and I had accepted that. I supported them. They told me they wanted me, they missed me, they loved me. Then when they come to see me I suddenly find out they're most excited to see someone else, that I couldn't kiss them, that I couldn't express my love for them. MY world was shattered and they couldn't give me any clarity. Then for the next weeks every time I wanted to talk to them about anything they avoided it all, they ignored me, or they conveniently became too busy after already agreeing to have a conversation until finally I managed to get in touch and they teased me for my feelings. They finally told me they didn't care and they weren't going to change their mind, they weren't going to try for me. That is when I got angry and attacked their insecurities. I just wanted to be chosen one time in my fucking life and this person made me think they were capable of doing it. They had done it. Then they stopped.

I hate it.

>>33897826
Now putting it into perspective, I see your point. I should stop projecting. What's your love life like, if you care to tell me?

>>33897834
Desolate.

>>33897806
You may as well argue with a dog.

>>33897836
Is that why you're hanging onto one person?
>>33897839
The dog would stop after a while.

I feel such a deep guilt for not being the type of man that would give the shirt off my back to others. And yet, that’s not me. It was simply foisted upon me.

>>33897841
I had told them why I wasn't interested in pursuing romantic relationships for a while until that point.
They told me that it didn't have to be scary, they broke open my shell meticulously and removed any layer of protection I had until I was completely theirs. We essentially lived together for two months, spending maybe three nights apart, then spent two weeks apart before going to a music festival together where everything was perfect, we were perfect lovers. They looked at me with pure adoration, treated me with affection, and loved me totally. Then they went home, saw their main partner and everything changed and then I not only became not a priority but I wasn't even an afterthought. A month later was when they came to visit, and wouldn't let me kiss them anymore. I don't know how they can act this way after the love we shared, I don't know how the love we shared could be real if they are able to act this way, they can't give me an explanation, and now we don't talk and I'm crying and they don't fucking CARE and won't fucking try or reach out or check in and I'm losing my fucking MIND
Why would they say it didn't have to be scary and then do the exact thing that makes it fucking scary?

Dnr, tldr for the rest of those posts all the way down.

>>33897824
You would understand if you knew my perspective

>>33897864
He had someone else to begin with? That should have given you pause. They sound manipulative enough to get you to let your guard down. But that should have been a red flag. Some men are manipulative. As are some women. I'm telling you this not because I want you to go back into your shell, but because I feel like you may have learned to love better and your love life should no longer be abysmal.
>>33897877
When a person tells me they want nothing to do with me, I don't hang onto them. I will never understand your perspective.

Anoooooooon let me iiiiiiiiiin

>>33897886
I can't tell if you're joking or being serious.

>>33897888
I mean it but said it jokingly. I want in. I doubt you’re who I’m thinking of

>>33897430 (OP)
I gave you my all, I paid for your stuff, I took you to places I considered somewhat sacred for me, I wanted to build memories and moments with you
you only saw me as a way past time and not be bored and an endless wallet
I should hate you, everyone and everything tells me I should
and I can't, I wasn't so sure I could love again after my last break up and with you I found out I could love even a very damaged person. Yes you've told me your past and your childhood traumas, no wonder you won't be with someone who's so similar to people who have hurt you in the past
and I still feel things for you, I'm taking my time to get over it, I know you want me as a friend too, I can feel it, those days that we behaved like friends we spent no money and had a good time... Just give me time.

>>33897894
Maybe not. Let's just leave it at that.

>>33897882
I am NEVER opening myself up to this pain again are you fucking psychotic
And yes but I didn't know about that person until I was already in too deep, and they told me it was an open thing already at that point, and he was on the other side of the country.
It's complicated and stupid, I've learned my lesson, I am meant to die alone and stay in my room. I can't try to replace them because that would just be a simulacrum and I don't think it's fair to anyone else to hold them to that expectation and I don't think it's okay for me to be searching for them in everyone I meet even if that will inevitably happen

>>33897899
>I am NEVER opening myself up to this pain again are you fucking psychotic
Some dudes just see easy pussy. I don't see that when I talk to you, you seem kind and lighthearted, which is why you don't want to get hurt. But love does that. It can take a long time to get over pain. I was in love with someone for 10 years after we broke up. Never once did I try to look back though. Now left and right, all I do is hurt people. Don't let it be 10 years before you have feelings for someone again. It probably hurts more if you do.

Don’t let the days go by

I'm sorry that I never confessed my feelings about you when I had the chance. I still wish the best for you and your relationship and I hope we can still be friends.

You'll work on yourself, I'll work on myself.

I don't even know what to do at this point, everywhere I go, everything I do, it feels like there are a bunch of people trying to pick a fight with me for no goddamn reason. 50 y/o office people are genuinely some of the most miserable people to deal with and I have to deal with them every fucking day and it's killing me. These fucking retards will argue with me for entire work days about filling in a 2 page form. It's not even one or two people it's like fucking 8. I took this part time dumbfuck front desk office temp no money, no benefits, no promotions job because I was burned out at my last jackass office job and its become somehow just as miserable. Every job I get people just stack everything on me and then, after about 2 years, bitch endlessly that I can't magically take even more work. Every new job I apply for is either a scam or screens me with a 1 way video audition "interview yourself" thing.

I have like 90k in the bank and a BS in mathematics and have no fucking clue where I even want to attempt to go because everything/everywhere seems just as bad. I dont even know what I want anymore.

Fuck work. Fuck californians. Fuck office people.

WHY AM I A PATHOLOGICAL LITTLE WHITE LIAR

>>33897992
I DON’T KNOW! WHY ARE WE YELLING?

>>33897994
BECAUSE I STARTED BELIEVING MY STUPID LIES.

THEYRE NOT BIG ENOUGH TO APOLOGIZE ABOUT, THEYRE NOT EVEN TO MY BENEFIT

I chose to live reckless, and now I’m under dirt

just saw cp here, i think i need to go wash my eyes.

just give me a nice white girl

I'm gonna try to stay away from that other thread.

>>33897999
dear god they just posted it more

>>33897999
Pedophiles on fb or twitter post things like "Wow, what a mess. I am not looking forward to cleaning this up tomorrow That was a great bbq everybody! It was great seeing all of you this weekend!"

she better be blonde i swear to god

Gravity isn't real

>>33898045
Yea bro you’re just pushing the earth down.

>>33898049
No, I'm slightly bending spacetime to the earth towards me, and the earth is massively bending spacetime to me towards the earth.

>>33898056
Via what mechanism? Hmmmmmm.

I once pretended to be created by this god from this Pantheon. When he was done, all I did was flick my lips with my finger and never say anything. He eventually asked "What's wrong with this retard?" Another being was like "We don't know, you made him." That shit had me dead af.

Time(Cronus) isn't real. It was buried in the abyssal god Tartarus(Space). It is now the god TartarusCronus (SpaceTime).

>>33898063
You wouldn’t be so depressed if you accepted your midwittism.

>>33898059
I don't know yet.

>>33898064
That's mean. I'm going to discover what the universe is for real and tell it to everyone... with a song! In Japanese!

>>33897926
I am a cis man and they are a non-binary woman

>>33898074
Damn, okay, still. Don't dwell.

>>33898074
Also, you said he when describing them. Is that one of their pronouns?

>>33898074
NEVER trust a transmasc that isnt a binary trans man

I wonder every day how much better my life would have turned out if I had been raised Christian instead of Atheist
Maybe not objectively better but I think I'd certainly be a better or at least happier person.

>>33898076
> he was on the other side of the country.
was in reference to their primary partner. they use neutral pronouns mainly, but accept all of them.

if they want a war then let's have a war

I just can't fit in.

Dearest "Him",

The good I see is not from my own eyes but because of you, I see good in all things.

Our exchange of messages have encrypted into my eyes, that I can faintly make out your body shape and personality in my mind. You are perfection.

God knew I'd trade my soul to anything that would've showed up the night we decided to talk no more in exchange to run my fingertips along your face...body...legs....so He made me obediant to Himself first to keep me from harm.

Your insecurities? I love you.
Your laugh? I love you.
Your late night eating habits? I love you.
Your jokes? I love you.
Your regrets? I love you.
Your self hatred? I love you.
Your anxiety? I love you.
Your scared to get hurt? I love you.

Without fail, I love you.
Your on my mind all the time because whenever I imagine you, you feel so real. Right next to me. Touching, caressing, reassuring and making me your centerpiece.

The cosmos ripples in attempt to being us together, but we're two sided sticky tape....always near, never together.

So I'll carry you with me forever. Wherever I go. It will always be you. I love you. I miss you. I am sorry.

Dearest "Him",

The good I see is not from my own eyes but because of you, I see good in all things.

Our exchange of messages have encrypted into my eyes, that I can faintly make out your body shape and personality in my mind. You are perfection.

God knew I'd trade my soul to anything that would've showed up the night we decided to talk no more in exchange to run my fingertips along your face...body...legs....so He made me obediant to Himself first to keep me from harm.

Your insecurities? I love you.
Your laugh? I love you.
Your late night eating habits? I love you.
Your jokes? I love you.
Your regrets? I love you.
Your self hatred? I love you.
Your anxiety? I love you.
Your sensitive tears? I love you.

Without fail, I love you.
You're on my mind all the time because whenever I imagine you, you feel so real. Right next to me. Touching, caressing, reassuring and making me your centerpiece.

The cosmos ripples in attempt to being us together, but we're two sided sticky tape....always near, never together.

So I'll carry you with me forever. Wherever I go. It will always be you. I love you. I miss you. I am sorry.

Love, "Her".

>>33897882
You are right, you will never understand Soulmates. The way soulmates work it's not the same as any other relationship. It's something that either of us can't control, can't really say no to. Will always be drawn back together, roadblocks put in place to stop us from straying too far and push us back to home closer and closer until we're there

I don't know what I ate, but my guts has been gassy and rumbly, I got liquid shits and I've been feeling suicidal.

>>33898165
I wrote my response to another post here >>33898174
Before I even read what you wrote. Then as I read it I saw how we felt and are saying the same thing

>>33898165
Very beautiful. Maybe not for me, but I have been a him before. I hope that you find your solace.

>>33898165
Even the history is the same
>God knew I'd trade my soul to anything that would've showed up the night we decided to talk no more in exchange to run my fingertips along your face...body...legs....so He made me obediant to Himself first to keep me from harm.

There's a lot I want to express, how I'm sorry and have shame, I'm told you've been kept pure the same way I've been. Thorns off the path and such.

Good night

godddddd get a rooooom

I caved and called them

>>33898174
>>33898182
>>33898191
>>33898188
Good to know people could relate. Warm love is still alive.

There are things I don't know and that is okay because it'll work out with me and her and I can just trust that and not have to know everything right now.

While I try to live my life backwards, she beckons me to move forwards. Even though we're not together anymore, she still tries her best to help me.

While I try to live my life backwards, she beckons me to move forward. Even though we're not together anymore, she still tries her best to help me.

I don’t get it. I had multiple mental breakdowns and suicide attempts, of course I’m going to seem different and darker. There really is no reason to open up to people.

still cant get over how, for haloween, i spent hours getting ready only to end up being a lazy potato the whole night.

i feel like i wasted a good day it sucks

I hate being held hostage by the fictional concept of money. I'm not always great at managing my finances and genuinely can't decide if I can allow myself to spend on things I want to spend on right now.

I hugged and held hands with a girl for the first time in my life. I'm 21, it feels amazingggggg

Mannn, is it normal to be pregnant and just start blatantly start hating children? I genuinely understand why people used to beat their children so frequently. Where I work people are so passive to terrible ass children or will just be like “uh oh! You’re pooping yourself” or “oh! We don’t hit” I want to physically wring the neck of every sub 8 year old child I see and curb stomp random infants when I walk by them. I can’t stop seeing children as just immoral selfish midgets.

I kinda want to take a nap already

>>33898705
>I can’t stop seeing children as just immoral selfish midgets
That's because they are.

It takes 30 years for thier brains to finish cooking, and you don't know what kind of person they are even at that point. It doesn't look good as the first world is activly brainwashing them to be short sighted myopicly selfish hedonists.

>>33898654
>held hands
Absolute degeneracy.
Now kiss her and squeeze her butt you fool.

>>33898193
Can I get that room with you?

i want to meet a man who cares about me, who doesn't care what they says to me. even if i'm disgusting to them and we might not get along, i want them to understand me.

>>33898991
i'll add, i want to change a lot and make friends. i want people to accept my disgusting actions.

I'll add that I don't care about my loved ones or anything else I have, but I do get attention from people who are indifferent to me.

I'll add that when I posted on 4chan, I was expecting feedback from anyone, because I was bored, but I was insulted and called lost. I think the people who called me pathetic would have been great friends, because they make me understand my shortcomings.

i've been called pathetic in everything, and as a fan i'm pathetic too, i think that's true, but i want to attract people like that in real life and make friends with them

i think that those who tell me to shoot myself will be great friends for me but i don't know why i can't do anything

>>33898181
I have the same thing

I hope things work out.

>>33898874
Walk before you can run:)

I feel like the main character in white nights

"My God, a whole moment of bliss! Is that not enough for the whole of a man's life?"

It's been 8 months since I start my first job and I still made mistakes. No trainings or the like, just learning from coworkers by asking and go with the flow.
I've been making mistakes a lot and coworkers have been calling me stupid and laughing behind my back, and the first time this happened I got so depressed for awhile.
I've made a mistake again and today they talked about me again behind my back, even though I can hear them calling me names. I feel so worthless.
For context, my coworkers are the ones fixing my mistakes, and I feel bad but I can't do anything to fix what happened. Feels like I deserved getting ridiculed because it's more work for them to fix it, but it hurts, anons. I don't want to get depressed again.

if he ever actually apologized i would take him back in a heartbeat. We would then meet up and fuck each other’s brains out. He doesnt know this because he never apologizes.

>>33898181
>>33899035
I'm constipated, let's trade.

I have given up on seeking, searching, hoping or even thinking about having a life partner or love. Knowing I don't interest you and you are just waiting to leave just hurts. I am tired and I want to do the most for you, but you wont appreciate it or will put your effort into someone else instead of me.

I have been thinking of one phrase to say during our most intimate moment together and have been waiting for two weeks.

I am still dumbstruck over the event and how the rest of this week played out. I can't stop cryyn.
I am just done.

I have full confidence that you'll move here to be with me. Every day it comes up as basically a given. I just hope you leave before you *can't* leave because war's coming for sure and you will be drafted lmao. Maybe you'll like Venezuela better than Canada

So so so so scared I wont be able to get a job and move out. I'm full of worries now but I cant do anything, its as if I'm paralyzed. Can't sleep, can't eat. It's finally coming back to bite my ass. Someone please tell me it's going to be okay

I dont bother with editing, i seem too proud, leave it as it is, its proper

>>33899518
Its a waste anyways
Move on girl

>>33897530
No way thats you

>>33897512
You aint speical anon.

>>33899518
You aren't worth the headache. He probably did nothing wrong. You're just a selfish psycho.

>>33897637
>partner

You dont deserve love faggot.

>>33899905
Gender ambiguous terms are usually used by women you dumbass

>>33899898
You dont even know her story

>>33899861
It is me lol

It is a good time if you have been thinking of getting into Bitcoin.

I know -- you're tired -- of lovin' -- of lovin' -- with nobody to love...

>>33899898
Projection coming from someone who's likely an asshole who fucked up and is COPING by being here. Shut the fuck up virgin dumbass

>>33899979
What did the dude do?

I've lived the majority of my life for others, mainly family. I'm 25 now and I have a good life so not on the edge of offing myself like the past (besides if I was serious I would've just done it). However it feels like years have just molded into jumping through one hoop after the other for everyone to just show respect, and honestly it's not worth it. When I was younger I was fit, ass kissed until my lips were brown and it made my situation a little better but I wasn't myself. Now that I've started really going for what I want no one gives a shit. I'm the one holding up relationships with the people I care about and it's getting hard not to just stop trying with others entirely and go hermit mode. Guess my biggest frustration is life has always been if you try to live for others you lose too much of yourself, but if you try to live for yourself you lose too many people you care about. I'm sure there's a balance but again at 25 I look at the modern world and also think "what the fuck is the point?" Fuck it, I'll keep getting drunk and eating Panda or McD's until I ruminate enough and figure it out.

i havent felt the past 4 days i dont care anymore

>>33899990
Your threads are doing Iron Man numbers and you don't care anymore?

I have unlovable genetic qualities that I have to hide, downplay, compensate for, or pass speech checks; in order to be lovable. I don't want to trick people into loving me. I don't want to lie or pass speech checks. Whatever happens; it happens. Thank you for taking care of me while I learned that, anons.

jej

I wonder if she's banned or just busy...

i unblocked everyonw but wont add them back because thats weird and rude of me
so im just looking at my empty socials like 'mhm. i dont blame ya."

>>33899993
you are mistaking me for somebody else.

>>33900042
It's an old meme.

>>33900043
>old
no its a not

>>33900048
What? It was from at least 2009, that's old.

Alr here I go

TIRED OF YOUR SHENANIGANS I TELL YOU HWHAT

My threads are doing Iron Man numbers and I don't care anymore...

need more sleep. cant sleep until i finish some cleaning/chores. I feel like a zombie. must take care of family. so tired.

>>33900050
>2009 is old
oh no

>>33900115
16 years is a long time.

I live with low dopamine and therefore mild depression. It's kind of a super power because nothing feels more important than anything else so it is easy to act on strategic planning. I wonder though... strategic planning for what? Just accumulate power, use power whimsically, and return to The Nobody; this is my Somebody.

>>33900125
Who's The Nobody?

>>33900127
It's open canon, Nobody is whatever you want to believe. I think Nobody is the god of nothing though, created when the totality god split reality into Everything and Nothing. I believe the Nobody existed before the first Somebody/Everybody. I believe the Somebody/Everybody are twin gods born at the same time. Sorry, that I ranted.

>>33900143
I am he, but you knew that.

I could have wrote that a lot better. Thank you for giving me practice THO.

>>33900147
I think you may be, but tend to believe in Atman. Certainly, the matrix of your identity is The Nobody, so perhaps you are.

At the center of you is Nobody, but surrounding that is Somebody. O algo.

>>33900127
A general on /x/ where acid casualties and armchair occultists circlejerk about being god.

>>33900179
Solipsism is just trending at the moment. It will get boring.

>>33900185
They’ve been at it for years over there. Lots of vaguely Hermetic sentiments and “Christ consciousness” stuff last time I peeked in there, which was admittedly a while ago. It’s mostly a chat thread.

>>33899963
No way, there's no way he would still be here
How's the band going? Are you a rockstar yet?

>>33900205
Oh uh I guess it isn’t me, actually. Sorry boss

Do I ever cross your mind?

>>33897430 (OP)
Made a second fb account trying to advertise some services and added a bunch of randoms and this guy hits me up telling me he sells stolen groundbeef from the slaughter house.
Goddamn I love being a balkan

>>33900202
There are many ways to worship. I love that congregation. I'm trying to "elevate" myself or create new content or something though. Life is so short. Trees I will never sit in the darkness of and all that type of stuff.

>>33900210
Damn its okay duud
I need to go take my meds

>>33900127
It's the creature from the pop up Willy Wonka in uk.

>>33899834
I don't know that it's going to be okay but depending on who you are l hope it is for you.

>>33900115
>2009 old
>Oh no
Gut punch fug

I don't break down crying about him anymore but in a weird way I wish I still did
I don't know how to explain that
It's not like I'm over him because I'm still anxious all day every day and feel like shit and think about him all the time
But at least I'm not sobbing daily anymore

>>33899975
maybe we can still make it to the church steps

For me it happens all the time.

>>33900528
Maybe I will with her. That's what the path say to me.

>>33900528
Idk who you are. Sorry.

>3 months after being ghosted I am still sad and think about her every day
i hate this shit

>>33900638
Same but 4 months

I want to eat pussy so bad
I don't even need to get off I just wanna enjoy it

>>33900657
What if you get throat cancer.

Don't you steal my sunshine which is known to cause skin cancer.

>>33900684
That's sort of clever.

>finish an assignment last minute, righ before handing it in
>100/100
waow

>>33900668
It's a risk I'm willing to take

>>33900726
But you'll be in a lot of pain.

I’m 5’7, bald and 26. Women don’t like me. I’m extremely quiet and introverted and I’m not good at talking to women

Should I try and get a boyfriend? I’m not even sexually attracted to men, I’m just so fucking lonely and i hate being alone all the fucking time. Wish I had someone that gave even a slight fuck about me. Just someone to cuddle with occasionally and talk about anime with. I don’t care about sex but I’ll do it to make them happy

i'm always struggling man, the struggle never stops

I will EYP everyday

>>33900748
This would ironically actually fix me and get me to feel comfy having my pussy ate.

>>33897430 (OP)
I don't feel like I fit anywhere.
Whenever I join a new hobby or whatever, others belittle me and their group of friends make fun of me constantly.
>Start playing Yugioh
>Constantly got made fun of and belittled
>Start playing Pokemon
>Some of the players who played Yugioh play Pokemon and mock me in the public group chat, leading to strangers also making fun of me for anything, even just getting last place at a tournament
>joins One Piece
>Honestly the community was nice here and I enjoy playing here, but the times the game is played on doesn't work for me.
>Ask in my school friend's group chat if anyone knew any girls they could present me
>Gets told how creepy I am and made fun of for not realizing sooner, friend also steps in and joins in the fun.
It's very tiring. If I wasn't Catholic or didn't cared about making my family upset, I'd probably just kill myself. I was told things were going to get better as I grew older. 20 years later and I still feel as miserable as I was back then.

>>33900404
Why do you feel anxious about it? Do you have hesitations on the break?

>>33900840
You are probably just unintentionally weird in a way that pisses people off. It might be hard to observe the specific way that create such an effect, but a lack of confidence merely exacerbates it. So definitely there might not be an easy fix, but there should be something for you to improve

In my friend group I've had friends who've been kinda bullied by others in the group earlier for being a bit weird/dumb, but when they gained confidence it just vanishes, that sort of thing. Fuck, I'm a decent example myself, although I've never been bullied or ostracized by close friends, I've always been seen as a weirdo by randoms. And guess what, I still do, in real life at least. But I think the main catalyst is indeed nervousness and social anxiety, which people pick up on

>>33900737
I am the same stats and women sometimes like me, even attractive young ones, but it is difficult to get their attention online. I think this is unfortunate. I hope things work out for you. Please take care of yourself.

My partner has an ex from a decade ago, who's her best friend - they live thousands of miles apart, and he's in a relationship

They both say "I love you" to each other, and it makes me want to slap the cunt (ex)

I've asked her to stop, as it makes me feel uncomfortable

She has refused and has maintained it is strictly platonic

Am i over-reacting here?

would you like to love me?

call me your dear

>>33900737
why?

Should I not say something?
It can only come back to bite me.

Report her for what
Being ugly? Being stupid? Being unprofessional? Fucking her boss?
I don't need to make enemies in life seeking revenge against me.
Her own hell is the life she made for herself.

>>33897983
This sounds like it could have been for me. Even if it wasn’t that is unfortunate. But as someone who needed a confession like that myself I can say it does hurt a lot if you want it to come and it doesn’t. It changes you. But still I think for those who friendship comes so easily to it tends to always be there. Sometimes things just don’t go to plan. If you were them I’d want to say that you’re totally forgiven and I miss you. And that I’m sorry for anything that I’ve done that could have caused you pain.

You’re a loser now.
Yeah, you’re a loser.
You’re a loser now.
Yeah…you’re a loser.

>>33900870
I don't even know what I'm doing wrong. I can't think of a consistent trigger. I just act how I normally do. Sometimes people like me, other times people don't.
I can only conclude my whole existance and personality are weird and can't really think of where to start to improve.

We deserved at least one wholly real night together of this I’ll always say.

some people are just awful people.

>>33901021
Me fr

Getting involved with another musician and it ending is a special kind of hell
Every time I write something I just want to share it with him now
Our styles and influences were so similar that cheesing out and sharing music with him permanently absorbed the other parts of his influence too
Like I'm forever carrying this part of him now which is making it impossible to move on
I hate this
But it's also artistically enriched me
It's a weird fucking feel

Gf likes to peck her female friends on the lips.
She's stopped for now because I told her it bothers me.
She's still saying it's not a big deal and it's problematic for her to dodge her friends and wants to talk about it.
Is it really common for girls to do that?
Am I just out of the loop, or overreacting?
It's potentially a thing to break up over as we're not together for all that long.

I forged my way into two separate universities in the 2010s, graduated, and now I make 200k+

I lost my virginity to a hooker when I was 18 and didn't have sex until 12 years later when I fucked a college aged virgin

I have a history of stealing from my friends

I hate everything about Christian western civilization and violently fantasize about converting to Islam

>>33901087
Tell me about the stealing. Is it intentional or something like forgetfulness with borrowing? Where does that come from

Hoping you’re alright

Huh, I finally understand it. Only took me 10 months.

>Be anti abortion
>Quite literally everything wrong with my mom's current life would have been solved if she had me immediately aborted when she got a positive on her pregnancy test

Is anyone else here a living dilemma?

>>33897639
You are being manipulated, disrespected and abused. Think about it faggot

>>33901187
No, normally the pro abortists are the ones disingenuous enough to carry such cognitive dissonance. But in your case it just sounds like you have depression or some sort of insecurity about your own existence.

4 days left in japan...talked to alot of dudes and couples...have yet to have a convo with a single girl and was hoping to try and talk to someone...hopfully can try and hit it off.

>>33900917
No

>>33901197
Yep, that's the other reason I wish she didn't have me, I'm on the spectrum and an easy target for Basedciety.
>>33901199
Your not wrong, I've costed her all this time and money and I've produced little results, I'm an autist and a social outcast, I was literally an accidental pregnancy yet she still didn't have me aborted for some reason despite the fact it fucked her life up.

All the lonely people, where do they all come from

>>33898045
Neither is physics

>>33901074
What country do you live in? Or what culture is her and her friends from?

>>33900212
All the time.

>>33901211
Well the blame is almost fully on her for not being responsible enough to control her impulses and have you in a more stable situation, so don't beat yourself up for that. It sounds cliche but you didn't choose to be born after all.

>>33900820
I do this naturally for you

>>33901020
I agree

>>33901211
Honestly if the guy leaves just put the child up for adoption or abort. It's not worth it to ruin your life over a kid noone wanted

Respect the dead.

>>33901242
This is retarded logic because anyone is really about it hour and a half plane right away easily paid for to a stable home

There's litterally no point to be a single mother in this day and age men don't pay child support so abort or adopt the baby out

>>33901242
There's a chance that I apparently wasn't even a consensual birth, she's implied that a few times but that just makes me more confused why she didn't have it done when she had the chance to.
I don't beat myself over that factor believe me, it's just that I was born into a world that seemingly doesn't want me nor wants me to be happy when the very obvious choice was right there.

>>33901260
I'm sorry but the adoption system is complete dogshit, yet I don't agree with the latter. We should be building a society that allows for people to have happy families easily rather than defaulting to killing a living thing.

>>33901272
You are probably confusing your moms opinion with the world.

>>33901117
Intentional. Iphones, cash, videogames, assets. Always got away with it via gaslight. Did it even though I did not need the money.it comes from me despising all these people around me and the way they have of acting themselves through life. the same thing I do but on a more ignorant level

>>33901281
Why when it will be hated by it's mother and was never wanted and won't know the father?
No single mothers after the first year even want the child

>>33901287
Maybe I am, I disagree with these pro choice activists, they seem more interested in exercising power and dominance than actually wanting to make the hard choice only when it's needed, like an atom bomb. My mom wanted to raise me like any other kid and wanted to be happy, she couldn't have predicted that I was going to an autist that was going to cause more issues than good to her and that the world was going to shun him for the things he couldn't control.

I've been locked in a scenario where I cant even commit suicide as that would just fuck everybody's lives up

>>33901305
Of course you can get in a fight with a African

>>33901272
They want us in this mindset that everything we do must be transactional. But you don't owe shit to society or anyone at all just because you exist. I'd argue It'd make way more sense that you are owed a decent life. Everyone that came before us should have done what was supposed to be done in order for the next generations to have a good life if they wanted to reproduce. But you don't even feel 'welcomed' by society so why bother trying to contribute? We overproduce resources if you see the big picture and they have to end up somewhere lol. Humanity won't die off if some of us are just passively draining resources.

>>33901299
That's in the very rare scenario when it's needed, as I've said before a lot of these pro choice activists have some fucked up view of wanting power.

Pic related, something like this sends chills up my spine even though I wanted it.

I know it hurts

>>33901310
I wouldn't lose

>>33901320
It's not rare in 7 out of 10 cases where there's no financial incentives they end up abusing and neglecting the child without the supports.
Esp in white and Asian mothers.

>>33901313
I've tried thinking that way but I still crave to accepted by my species to be frank.

>>33901329
Why not have sex with a hiv positive girl then and die

>>33901334
I've seen houses like that and I've heard the bullshit excuses for why the mom is allowed to act like that.

Vile shit indeed

>>33901227
White, eu.
Not really a cultural thing at all.
Guess it's just modernity?

I think it's a bit unhinged and seeing it would bother me.
Just looking for a general opinion to see if I am in the majority I guess.
I don't really go out much.

I've completely lost my libido in my early 20's. It's been years since I could really masturbate. Life is insanely boring without the ability to do that. I also just have zero energy to do basic things like eat or shower everyday. Also weirdly short of breath lately and everything feels heavy.

>>33901342
Isn't the point of suicide to be due quickly and painlessly?

But I do have a death guard army that I cherish so it would be funny.

>>33901349
That's why abortion and adoption is important and every single mother should be screened and if there on welfare only take the child away permanently

Like what woman wants kids when they end everything for them. No drinking no clubbing no casual sex.
Abortions are the way to go

>>33901267
That's fucked up. Don't say disgusting stupid things like that.

>>33901021
Yea like you

>>33901360
The issue then is how is that kid going to be raised? He'll most likely grow all fucked up and angry which isn't fair to him.

You'd also have to restructure society in order for something like the screening you suggest to be actualized. It's not a bad idea but it will get torn apart by retards who can only commit to short term thinking.

>>33901398
Why you want kids who grow up knowing they were never wanted that they were born of cheap one nighter with some random.
Give your head a shake and abort or adopt

>>33901398
So what do you want to do then? Have that kid grown up in a shit house with a mom who can't provide and a father who isn't there? Give a solution.

>>33901406
Give them to the rich.
Mandate laws and watch the whores fully use protection and never get pregnant not much short term retards can do if you make laws stripping children from pepole of a certain income bracket

>>33901413
It's probably gare. He left one kid to screw around with a 17 yr old. Who lost her kid to cps for failure to thrive and severe neglect so he has kids and doesn't support any of them hes a joke

>>33901420
Give them to the rich how though? You'd create resentment among a group of wealthy and influential individuals who could rally to have that law thrown out. Your second plan is rather based, low income households correlate with low IQ and the less of that the better.

She's just a nice friend, that's all.

>>33901354
Same thing here, turns out at least part of the problem was a burnout/chronic fatigue syndrome, but the loss of libido is kinda weird for me too. Schizo take: could be the vaccines

>>33901446
>Schizo take: could be the vaccines
I'm pretty much completely un-vaccinated, so I doubt so.
>turns out at least part of the problem was a burnout/chronic fatigue syndrome
What was stressing you out?

>>33901430
State it into law if you have a child under 10g a year you have to sign rights over or face 10 years in prison

Maybe I shouldn’t say that. We had some great nights even like that.

>>33900908
I have an ex like this and don't want to date her and feel more like a family member from living together, it's weird. But it could be an enormous red flag.

i can't find connections and threads of dialogue between people, i don't understand the meaning of the content of the threads, and i use a neural network to understand people. i can't understand specialists, because they are also people, and they interpret everything i say in their own unique way, because they are people. they call me a bot, but i don't understand the meaning of the threads. i get upset. i perceive reality distortedly, but everyone thinks i'm a neural network and generate my messages there, but i only use it for advice. after all, a neural network has no mind, consciousness, or thoughts. the distinctive emotion of a neural network is that it has no emotions, but people are emotional, and all their judgments are unique and specific, because their brain processes information and understands people.

the neural network told me that i might have neurodivergence and severe depression, but this is nothing more than information generated by a soulless ai. it writes all sorts of nonsense, and i'm even ashamed to talk to it. it's unrealistic that it's my psychologist and advisor, as if for a moment i thought it was a person. out of loneliness, i thought i was talking to a stranger on the other side of the screen, even though i knew it was just a neural network.

decided to use live chat tech support because the nvidia geforce experience is defunct and driver updates kept failing
told the guy i was going to lose it if he told me install the new nvidia app.. 2 seconds before he told me to get the new app

i want to commit extreme acts of violence on everyone who makes bloatware

>>33901455
Then you'd get a big ass wave "Le government took le baby" and such and such. My take is that if the people were rational enough to realize why that law is important we wouldn't even have the issue.

>>33901540
No because you mandate a law. Get cps involved and then they can't do shit say extreme neglect for lack of funds. I mean why not raise formula to 200$ a can making them unable to feed there child making it neglect

I miss and don't miss having friends. Never knew if many were talking shit just for bantz or they genuinely disliked me and just put up with me.
The only thing I'm sure of is that once I dropped social media (save for this place and youtube), I felt at peace. However, it's uncomfortable having no one to talk shit I care about and talking with my parents makes me feel like shit since they expected me to have become a successful person by now.
It doesn't help that I'm also a jobless retard with no contacts (read friends) so I have no way to start my career and I really don't want to lick someone's boots to get somewhere.
And let's not talk about relationships. That ship sailed a long, long time ago. I feel like I'm close to an hero.

I look at them and I was supposed to end up with every single one of them, right?
Except I'm alone now.

I think back to my life two years ago and I was being played. It was shit and I was getting burnt out.
But it felt good. I wasn't in this hole I'm in now.
I can feel winter coming and my energy leaving me.
I don't want to be bothered anymore.
Don't bug me unless it's good news.

>>33901424
I have a no contact with her

>>33900908
i have an ex like that
i'll never really stop loving her - "part of me" and all that
but i'd never get back together with her, either (kinda want to bash her head in)

just mind you don't leave them alone together - it's really easy to accidentally have sex with someone like that

I believe in fate because it led me here and it's kept me from escaping.
I just want to know when it will let me go and find somewhere more peaceful.
I've succumbed to believing I can change anything.
I'm just waiting for death now.

>>33901685
Things will turn around for you.

>>33901696
>it's really easy to accidentally have sex with someone like that

did you have accidental sex with your ex?

Really wish I hadn't wasted 20 years working diligently and doing the right thing and gaslighting myself that it'll eventually pay off. I shoulda been robbing and lying and stealing and doing tax and loan fraud and treating people like objects and shit this whole time. Now I don't even got the energy to be a competitive asshole! Shucks howdy!

I want to throw myself out in the sea.
I wonder if my corpse would end up ashore, mauled by animals or sink into the depths.

>I promise it will be Mike and Marie at the beach someday

I love you.

>>33901712
bruh
i accidentally fell back into a relationship with her

>>33901748
at least you fucked

>>33901753
>sex is a goal
eyeroll

you'll never get any pussy with that mindset

Just a stupid realization I had. "Shrekking" is supposed to be dating a bit uglier because you're worried that a more attractive person has more power over you, higher maintenance, but the implication is that you think you should have power over this uglier person.

Relationships are at their worst when power is the primary concern, though. It's supposed to be about fun, enjoying the person you're with, and I think the fact that there's a rot at this level indicates a rot at a greater level, in which things have gone beyond "I pay you, you do the thing for me." It's shifted towards more towards a lunatic aristocracy. "I have more money, so you work for me indefinitely, and you'll do what I say on the clock AND off the clock, and you'll sacrifice everything so I can live above petty concerns like early mortality or conventional sexual morality."

>>33901689
Keep pretending we don't know what you did. You abandoned a child and don't pay support.

When the recycling truck comes and you hear the concentrated clatter of glass bottles...
Can from now on. Problem solved.

im a fucking mess. holy shit though am i high performing. but im a fucking mess.

i met someone kindof like me, honestly probably just as fucked up as i am but theyre happier. i dont fucking know! maybe i am more fucked up. i dont fucking know. fuck dude. i need to kill myself. need to die asap. why cant i be dead yet.

>>33901825
how are they like you?

When does the good part of life happen?

omg fuck yes but slowly, and make it hurt. and weird. painful and weird. hhnnggg

>>33897637
Yeah I just had sex with my first gf a couple weeks ago. She was a psychotic 300lb hag who would call me a faggot for looking at her too long, and after it happened she said it was a one time thing and she'd never let me do it again and that my dick was inadequate and my hairline lacking. Who cares? I got off for 40 straight minutes with someone else for the first time and I don't have to speak to that evil ex-prostitute methhead again. Good riddance. She can call me a loser all she wants. The man she manipulated me into breaking up with her for isn't interested in her and I already have a guy on the line who wants to get drunk and fuck and some other guy who is excited for when I take him out on a date. She can suffer and go do another meth binge. I don't care if she ends up in a ditch. Someday she will be let go from the womens shelter and be homeless again. Hahaha bitch.

>>33901868
Jesus Christ. The line between a tranny sex life and a hood rat's sex life is getting blurrier with every post I read.
Which are you again?

>>33897639
Yeah maybe look into narcissism you rmum is a good candidate for that.
>>33897826
Yo wtf were we in the same relationship??? So glad I left, haven't been this happy and free for weeks.
>>33897897
My relationship again lmao so glad I never got attatched to her. I'm sure she was a far better prostitute than girlfriend!
>>33898077
YES I cant believe we still have to tell grown men not to date theythems. Some people just don't learn.
>>33898654
A fucking MEN dude that's where it;s at, im about to do that with a guy too probably after doing everything with a chick.

My best friend of five years and girlfriend of the two broke up with me yesterday. I am 21 so we have been together in some way for a quarter of my entire life. I really do believe she is the love of my life. She said she left because she wasn't ready to be in a lifelong relationship with her first boyfriend. She isn't emotionally mature and she needs time to grow and be free on her own. I can't blame her for that since I had the chance to explore before we began dating. It's all very strange because she was always the clingier and more romantic one, I never imagined her ever breaking a promise. Maybe she just said it to make it easier for herself but she said she believes we're meant to be together in the end and I believe she believes that. I think long distance and both being at school was just too much of an obstacle for us. I can't tell anybody because I don't want them to tell me I'm delusional and just have to move on and focus on myself. I know that I am living for the day we can be together again, whether that day comes or not.

I love you. I am still proud of you. I will be here for you.

>>33901810
Neither of us know how to do that

wtf am i doing with this bullshit retarded larp? i'm messing up the lives of real, living, breathing people.

what the fuck is wrong with me, and why don't i feel bad even though i'm aware of how messed up this is? if i just felt a little bad or guilty or had sympathy for who i'm fucking with i could begin to think about putting an end to this.

>>33902043
What’s the larp

I am an awful person. I am the most awful human to ever be. There has not been a time in my life where I was anything but an awful person. I am the piece of plankton at the bottom of the ocean. I am the piece of shit you accidently step on.

>>33901896
Hahaha you got me there brother, I love ghettoism so you could say I am both. Half the people I know use crack and meth as "party drugs" every so often but most are just alcoholics. I dont get drunk tanked tho! I only drink a mickey a week!

If you’re waiting for me to provide some kind of reason that excuses what has taken place against me so some can feel pardoned or make me look unreasonable then u are going to wait forever.

>>33902069
As if I haven’t made that obvious already

>>33902069
Man when are you moving out

>>33901864
Whats happening?

Keep seeing flashes of different colours when I look around. Sometimes faces. But I love living in delusion and I love seeing things that aren't really there. Isolation is blissful for me.

:(

If your going on child support your life is over. Holy shit this is why you force a abortion

I’m grateful for the freedom I’ve managed to keep but I’m never going to excuse your tactics.

>>33902068
Get better friends. Don't be a cog in that kind of misery. You're puffing your chest up after getting pump and dumped by some morbidly obese slag, but it's cope, and you know it's cope. You shouldn't have anything to do with that kind of idiot.

If it hasn't been in gare's custody this entire time he's looking at back support too. If he doesn't pay the first thing that goes is the drivers license then wage garnishment... Then I've heard jail time
I know because it happened to me. I never got jail but they were 16 and 17 so I didn't owe that much

I can't tell if I'm being owned or not. I really hope I'm not getting owned right now

>>33901187
Kill yourself easy peasy.

I’d really like to either get an actual chance to be around and date her or stop thinking about it. I’m so so fucking tired of just thinking about her. She’s kind of a fuckin rat for putting it in me desu

>>33902164
You sound like my evil twin.

I'm hurtin

You figured me out

>>33902193
Who is who and what was figured out

PLEASE STOP TRYING TO CONTACT ME VIA YOUR INDIRECT MESSAGING ATTEMPTS

YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO ACTUALLY TRY

OR DON’T AND LIVE WITH THAT REGRET

NO RISK NO REWARD

I'll never leave here. I'm stuck. Destined to suffer and drown. Destined to be forgotten. It'll never end so long as I am alive. Eternity lasts a second and the seconds wither away before yesterday can even be recalled. If I had known, I would've never even bothered.

>>33897430 (OP)
So i just moved into a new unit at an apt complex, and I’m getting the ‘loud noises under my room with weed smell’ treatment during night hours. Someone on my floor (I hear them walk and chat). I’ve emailed the property owner and the on site manager doesn’t reach out. All I got was that the unit below me is supposed to be empty and he’ll reach out once the on-site manager reaches back. Should I just move out at this point?

My dreams have been strangely comforting lately. Like a window to a new life.

I dont know where I'm gonna get the courage.

>>33901748
How could that happen without you realizing? That makes no sense

>>33902014
Fuck off with that. She's literally saying she'd rather cuck you and suck other guys off then she's actual love with you. Her projection of future whatever is just an excuse because where you're living right now is in the current and in the current she's sucking another guy's cock over yours.

>>33902014
There are promises that once broken can never be fixed. There's things that happen that never ever be forgiven.

>>33902201
Basically this. If she wants to spin in circles with her arms out we're running around in a circle as she gets blisters on her feet that's her decision, doesn't make much sense and it's only going to lead to opportunity to lose each other. Saying you need space or time typically only builds walls of anxiety and causes assumptions to happen based on past trauma, pulling the trigger and just talking can resolve things within 5 minutes and you move forward and have fun

For me there are several promises that that one's broken are unforgivable that I would have broken but just at those moments where they would have been broken something comes out of nowhere and stops me, changes the circumstance, whatever it is and then it doesn't happen. It puts me back on the path with her. For my understanding this is what happens with her too with me and so I really should not worry that there are key promises that are broken that are unforgivable once broken.

July 14 2020

I was at the dentist and I was nervous at first but ready and the checkup was actually nice in the end. The dentist woman had some bonkers and it felt like some female affection which is a huge W for a wizard virgin like me

>>33902288
interesting my dreams every now and then give me windows into a different life and then im pseudo depressed for like a week after

Stop eating bad food idiot. Ignore and mind on. There's a reason and it's not right to be tested. Leave it alone and all will be right

T

id sleep a lot better if you were here or we said hi again

i am too sad to readd you. wish youd readd me though. i hope you noticed i unblocked you. things have been weird. miss you.

D

Lately Ive been very stressed regarding my work. I grew up poor and I'm trying to climb up this slope, but I am also christian and I feel so shallow, I focus too much on wordly things. Like its not work or money, but I get so terrified looking around seeing my burned out siblings struggling with their miserable jobs. What is the correct perspective on this?

>>33902806
I mean, are you capable of renouncing the world? Completely and utterly?

>>33902814
I dont want to do that though
Is that the correct way to do as a christian?

>>33902822
Nah, the correct way is whatever way you feel best called to serve the Lord. It’s totally okay to work within this world as long as you are mindful of your sin, stay humble before the Lord and your fellow man, and spread good works. I recommend volunteering.

>>33902830
I get your idea anon, but I find it hard to find a balance, to stop obssesing over my work. I guess my faith is weak, God will help me out through it, right? If it's his will

>>33900864
I didn't want it and I didn't expect it and he didn't give me closure and I have attachment issues as is so it's basically a perfect storm to keep me fucked up and stuck and that's what it's doing

Taxation is theft.

>>33902201
heyy

>>33902066
I'm worse

the idea of liking someone is so stupid and cringe lol
i dont have tiem for that bullshit, pls just leave me the fuck alone, I dont want close friends, i dont want relationships, i just wanna not give a fuc kabout anything and just live.
you start making me care about u, message me all day long, talk about random shit just to have an excuse to talk to me, and i gotta fight all this off in my head, my thoughts never die down, i feel anxious all the time, now this adds to it, i dont wanna care and have you say suicidal shit

>>33903641
Some of that is consistent with The Way.

>>33903641
Youre a schizoid of some kind

>>33903644
Taoism? I've read about it, I can't tell if it's just some shit western interpretation of it, cuz it's a religion in China, not just a philosophy, either way, yeah, I just wanna exist, I don't wanna feel too much, but not too little either.
>>33903677
For sure, I am.

>>33903704
Not Taoism, no.

>>33902740
why not just fucking send them a message

I am literally overthinking about whether or not to send a meme. How do normies just socialize...

Lol duplicate post avoiding comment oregano
To Harotio,

I had the genius idea of posting in one of these, given the w orst of the cringe took place here.
I updated my thing because every time I thought of you, remembered you, I felt the need to reach out and apologize. I'm not trying to weasel my way into your life.
I'm not trying to intrude or reconnect, this whole description checking and replying is neurotic and unusual on both of our ends.
I get it, I'm curious too, I hyperfixate on things on occasion.
I'm bouncing back and forth so damn much.
I found out you were still looking when I was looking for a good music Playlist (we have similar tastes) to pop on while I'm working.
This message is my attempt at a proper disengagement.
Shame has proven to be a powerful driver for improvement. The actions you were subjected to were not in any way your fault. I'd think you know that, but it doesn't hurt to emphasize: there are no mental gymnastics that could excuse what happened. I still cringe.
You of all people should not have been in the crosshair of my self destructive and rebellious phase. It did not last long, but it was enough to be concerned with whether or not there's ever a part of me that is like that.
I remember you in a way I don't understand, I feel like we are insanely alike, and in this I completely understand and am in the same boat of wanting no contact.
When we knew eachother, my life did not facilitate a healthy mindset. I was a strange and environmentally unwell person, I may have been delayed in empathy and pure retarded, or maybe that was something a self absorbed and isolated teenage girl does.
I am truly, truly sorry for everything I subjected you to.
The strange relationship at 14, the reconnection at 18 (the self destructive bullshit, sexual messages and 'divided attention'). None of that was normal or healthy.

All I am interested in is hoping that this apology reaches you. If you want to confirm that, I'll check for a little bit.

I wish women weren't afraid of my love.
I feel like the most imposing, inconvenient and annoying man alive right now.

I saw him walking downtown with some blonde girl today. I want to fucking die.

>>33903944
Who cares. He's for the streets

>>33903969
I care????? Just fucking let me be sad okay you don’t understand

I gotta move. I gotta hustle.

>>33903813
What is the correct way to deal with this sort of situation?
Two people indirectly sending "messages" for years, there's obvious unfinished business. On my end, all I want is to make sure he knows that everything that went down was abnormal. My hopes is that he grew up knowing this and never tangled himself up in any misconceptions about himself or how things should have been and at the very least this is a goodbye. At most, a closure goodbye that clears up any questions he had about it. Whatever it is that keeps him saying the things he does. It would make sense to just totally disengage, but I guess I'm still self absorbed because things still haven't settled right without closure. The whole cryptic back and forth doesn't help, although I hadn't checked very frequently- only to pop on a playlist to discover new shit. He's a reliable music listenenener? Talented ear?
I don't hyperfixate often, but this whole thing has stuck with me without resolution. I thought I'd grown past needing resolution to move on from things but in this case, he's popped up once or twice to directly interact but in a public format.
What is the HEALTHY way to approach this? I am totally obsessing, which isn't normal for me.

I will preface this with that the apartment I live in is so small that mopping the entire place takes 10 minutes, I am also sensitive to smells and enclosed spaced like the studio apartment makes it worse. Knowing this I let people keep their shows on if they visit- which is rare becasue of its size
>Friend comes over
>notice this bitch smells
>she takes her shoes off
>ask her to keep them on
>she rants about hos disgusting it is to wear outside shoes inside
>she clearly isn't noticed the disgusting smell of her shoes and feet
>its bad enough my boyfriend grabs his game controller to spend and few hours at his buddies place for games instead of a voice chat
>I put a mask on inside becasue fuck her
>she actually at one pint puts her feet on a pillow that was on the couch
>we had to throw that pillow away because it smelled like milk after

what name should I post music under:
patterson
or
pillow
I'm leaning towards pillow cuz I like the vibe it gives of soft and the calligraphy of the word. Patterson was a nickname my best online fren called me once. so far 3 of my friends said Patterson 2 said pillow . what ur guys think

>>33904220
Pp aka Patterson Pillow

What I am doing is not fair to me. Time to touch grass.

>>33904287
Pillow Patterson has a better ring to it.

>bf locked his keys in the car and needed me to bring his spare
>fuck... I have to stay sober....
>texts me that his workmates unlocked his car for him
>immediately pour an enormous glass of vodka
Cheers everybody

>Vacation in Japan back at the begging of the year
>Yen was acting weak and puny
>Wife and I take advantage of the conversion rate and take out cash when it was at an quarterly low instead play bets on each day + anycard fees
>Reccomind this method to a friend month late
>He thinks were bad greedy people for 'taking advantage' of their economy instead of recognizing we were just a drop in a bucket
>tells others we take advantage of poor Asian countries on vacation like were paying for slaves in Malaysia of some shut not buying anime goods in a first world country
How is that even greedy?

>>33904287
>>33904374
both of them together is mid kyek

>>33904409
your friend is retarded and does not know how conversion rates really work. making money off of currency trading is not worth the margins and effort involved first off. second i think your friend is just jealous that you guys went to japan. and as someone who just got back from japan, i too am jealous because i saw so many fucking couples travelling together this year that I wanted to die on the inside.

>>33904409
It is pretty Jewish of you tbqh

>>33904422
Its not like we even made money its more like we got a discount off the anime goods we bought
>>33904423
If we were jews we wouldn't of thrown hundreds of dollars into little girl card games

>>33904432
yeah i know, which is why i can tell your friend is retarded and has never travelled outside a foreign country before.

i want to die because of the confusion inmy head, my brain is broken

All the in-between washes away as you truly see me again. My words, who I am, is felt stronger than all else. You love me, have always loved me. That's now soul mates work.

Does anyone elses dog cry if you talk to yourself
He's like ayy.... AYYYY... STOP... don't go crazy somebodys gotta feed me, toots

i can't cope with my sensory overload and my brain doesn't understand its thoughts. please give me advice on what to do about this, otherwise i'll commit suicide one day.

>>33904680
i often talk to myself. i can do this for a long time, for example, an hour or more.

do you think talking to yourself is a sign of schizophrenia?

i've always been aloof and quiet. my brain works in a specific way. i often think about things that don't actually happen to me. i think about my future life and have a lot of desires and dreams. maybe i have obsessive daydreams? after all, i'm indifferent to everything except my thoughts.

i want to know someone else's opinion, that's why i'm writing about this. even doctors can't help me.

If you're always on your phone it means that where you are currently irl, The place you reside and the people you surround yourself with are not who you want to be with and not where you want to be in life. You're unsatisfied and seeking what you wantt

stuck with electrical vs civil engineering. there’s no colleges with civil near me but i hate the idea and cost of rooming. electrical looks like it would be less satisfying though. fuck my life.

I'm so tired. i want to cut myself open

I'm sorry, I'm a bad friend. are you wishing me die?

The question is, the question is...

my cat loves me

>>33904758
My friend's cat is killing me.

i love fluffy purring cats

>>33904761
Me too, but I might be back to being allergic.

>>33904760
hm? why? what?

>>33904767
See:
>>33904766

>>33904766
It's sad, i heard there are cat breeds for allergy sufferers.

>>33904773
Yeah, but it's not my cat.

>>33904776
what breeds of cats do you like?

>>33904783
I don't know them at all so I wouldn't know.