>>82190041
oh boohoo, i'm a schizo with BPD
>mood swings on the hourly, one hour i'm ecstatic and the next i'm experiencing suicide ideation and visceral visuals in bed
>talk with the fictive in my head as self-therapy, can't go outside to talk to a real one bc trust issues
>can't hold a single friendship, have zero friends both irl and online
>anytime i DO manage to make a friend, i obsess and cling over them and stalk their accounts for information
>either that or i just literally don't know how to talk or start a conversation, as i don't interact with humans much outside of online anonymous posts
>every friendship i've had in the past 3 years have ended explosively after days/weeks of obsessing and e-sex attempts cause me to feel jealous and worthless when not reciprocated or acknowledged
>feel like everyone has faulted me
>then the next hour i'm happy and feeling fine again
i'm also not on any meds, as a matter of fact i have an addictive personality
this also runs in the family
my only solace is taking care of my body, i'm at least not overweight or unattractive
but i also don't eat much so