"...the deal was, at the time that I take the job and somehow, work the unwieldy and untalented hack of a toilet into a match, featuring my Taco Tuesday filled gut. I knew i had my work cut out for me that night. I never saw what the big hype was about it, I've seen better toilets. My wife insisted on bring it over from Japan.
"We work together for few weeks before for the we had worked a few times before, it was cordial the first few times and we had respect, I never liked to work with it, it was full of piss and vinegar and had to make everything more complicated than it had to. So, that nights match started with taking the sharpshooter position, he's taking it well. I have this deal going that I don't lean onto him too hard because it's easier on my legs, the joint pain was killing me, as well as my back so to make it smoother I stay elevated, this is how we did it every night before. "
"Then suddenly he starts taking liberties out of blue, changes the whole deal and all hell breaks lose. The bide function blasts right into my rectum while the burning Mexican mush comes flying on and it just sprays everywhere. I'm trying to get up but as I'm switching position I slip on a half-digested corn kernels and slip. Toilet just waits there and does nothing to protect me so I hit my head on the rim. Lights out."
" I don't know how long I was lying there, and when I wake up nobody is there to take care of me, the whole house was empty of any medical or security. I drag myself to the shower and have to do a whole clean up all by myself afterwards with a splitting headache. I suffered a minor concussion and had migraine for weeks afterwards. I swore right there and then I'd rather shit in the woods with the bears and snakes than work with that unsafe shitter of a toilet ever again."