friend just finished the first character selection screen
to him, karkat getting hit in the face with the bucket and having a mental breakdown was deserved for yapping too much
the horse pictures dirk has on his tv and wall concerns him greatly, but he's at least warming up to the guy. moreso his autoresponder than the actual dirk. he thinks sawtooth is going to show up and defeat jack for dirk
he thinks the autoresponder is misinterpreting that dirk likes jake
he finds it messed up how roxy kidnapped rose's cat and only sends back the corpse
jane being a life player apparently means she's going to go into dream bubbles and revive all the trolls
he thinks roxy being a rogue of void means she's going to portal hop around stealing shit like the queen's ring while she's sleeping
he's unsure who (calliope) is, but is going with his theory that she's karkat's daughter through time fuckery since she uses the same grey text color. and that he got with nepeta
by extension he thinks that (calliope's "brother") is kanaya and rose's son. troll biology somehow allowed the two to procreate
so far his ranking on the alpha kids: roxy >>>>> autoresponder > dirk > jane > jake