>>34267881
41...
In some sense I'm a virgin by choice - I've been orbiting my high school sweetheart for 22 years and we got together again seven years ago. We do all sorts of couple stuff including making out and heavy petting etc., but she has a hard line at anything having to do with genitals or my seeing her naked breasts (although she is sometimes into me groping her under her clothes if i can get her excited enough with sexy talk.) Why don't we have sex? I'm not a Christian, and to her sex shouldn't happen outside of marriage and marriage is a pact taken under God. But also..
Today she was voraciously squeezing and groping my huge belly and pulling my shirt up to marvel at it, telling me how it's so hot how much weight I've gained in the last few weeks, and I reached to try to grab her breasts and she really shut me down. She is attracted to me and wants to molest and tease me and get her hands all over me, but my desire for her is something she has to put up with - she can sometimes get into "being a huge titty bimbo" or "a hot skinny buxom girl who is magically turned into a fatty lover" as a naughty conceptual thing, but is generally turned off by the idea that I want the same kind of interaction with her body that she gets with mine regularly. It is a shame because her body is incredible.
I don't think I'll ever find someone who is as attracted to me as she is, or someone as beautiful, and I care for her very much. But I wish sometimes I could find someone who wanted _me_ to be hungry for _them_ and reacted to my advances with honest, not-feigned interest, and maybe wanted to have sex with me? I don't know if that's possible.
