I am still a 24 year old virgin schizoid doomer. I am no longer a wagie.

I feel weird now. The mushroom trip a week ago was fun and quite insightful, but now I'm closer to emotional baseline. I moved on from where I was last staying in Thailand as it was time. I'm at what is effectively a hippie resort for Westerners. My friend and I parted ways after smoking one last time. It's weird though, I feel all down and sad now for some reason, especially in regards to the past and future. I feel worried. When I see posts like this, it sure doesn't help as it digs in and reminds me of the painful past. I feel like even if I succeed now, it'd be too little too late. And that I'm running out of time.

Some things do inspire faith. After our respective trips, my friend and I opened up a bit, me about being incel and him about other stuff, and I was surprised at how relatively well recieved the info about me was. And I tried to open up a bit and socialize more in general following the trip.

I still fear I may be doomed in the end as I've had a continual lifelong streak of bad luck. In any case, I will fatalistically try anyway and maybe try to hit on some girls at this new place I'm in, and I'm also working on a hentai VN game since even if I can't retire, I'd rather draw anime girls for coomers indefinitely so I can wander the world indefinitely than end up in a cubicle cuck position.

https://x.com/draws_tc?t=wS4JOrX4vciR0LwmPgqs0w&s=09